Awesome! I really enjoyed this, mostly because I love the creamy purple milk leftover from a bowl of Captain Crunch Berries! I love all the things you made me remember and want. You have a talent and this is a great place to use it! Welcome to Writing.com!
I really enjoy your message here, especially when you get towards the end. You have a certain voice to your writing that is enjoyable. This is why you should keep free style writing. One thing.."the phobia of getting up to use the restroom because you'll feel ike if you're going to get pulled out of your comfort zone and taken under your bed with all the other innocent witnesses." This reads better if you remove the "if" in front of You"re. Or you could say feel as if.. Great work though, please keep writing, and welcome to writing.com.
I would not change anything on this! I love it. Your words are carefully placed together and in good time. They cause the reader to think and ponder. My favorite was the last two lines of verse one. I love the hidden meaning of putting in the work. I always enjoy your poetry.
I loved this!! It was creative and deep. I love the idea of the poem as erasing something before it even begins after you have painted the image in your mind. This was cool, my kind of poetry! Great work I look forward to reading more of it!
I love this! Its endearing to me how "little Speck" sounds kind of rude, but in your poem it is displayed as royalty almost. Miracles happen everyday and I love poems and stories about them. It gives people hope in their own lives. Thank you for choosing to share your miracle!
I like the humor in this. I hate mosquitoes but they love me! So I could relate to this. I like how you captured the reader right off the bat getting straight to the point. This was fun to read. Great Work! Welcome to Writing.com!
I liked your poem a lot. I enjoyed the message your bringing here. You have a creative way of getting the reader to visualize what is happening. I love the first two lines of every verse because you made me feel as I could really see these people going day to day. I thought it was creative and visual. Nice work! Welcome to Writing.com.
This was so much fun to read. I didn't think someone eating a grapefruit could be so interesting but you delivered it in such a story telling way I had no choice but to love it. I could imagine him eating the grapefruit and enjoying it more than anything!! Great Work on this one.
I love Haiku!! This is very thought provoking. I loved it. It's in perfect time for fall. I can just vision the drops of frost covering for the first time of the year. I also thought Chilled Kisses was an excllent choice of words to describe it! This was very vivid and full of nature and I enjoyed reading it.
This was very good! I would change nothing about it. You were describing a man but in a sense you were describing yourself! I enjoyed reading all the different ways you believe a man should be. I was smiling while reading the whole thing! I thought it was honest and truthful and I love how you included God as the main part about being a man. Great Work!
Oh my gosh this was so funny at the end!! Lol! I enjoyed this one out of all of yours. I was right there with you at the disco and going down memory lane with you, then you pulled out the getting old card and the humor smacked me in the face! It was kind of sad in a way also, longing for youth again! Great work on this one. It's my favorite!
I like the way you wrote this as a poem and a story. I was waiting to see what would happen yet I already knew. You built the suspence up nicely and ended with a thud. This flowed very nicely and I enjoyed reading every word. I am glad you put the refrence at the end though! Great Work!
This is a great way to describe a friend!! I loved this! I felt the relationship you have with him in every word. I love how he was troubled as a child, yet turned his life around to be a loyal family man. I was impressed with the way I got to know Leonard through your words! Great Job!
I like how you have a symphony of images and sound enrapture the character wanting to escape in this. I believe you have a good start to a great poem. I like what I read so far. I like the images it put in my head of everything crashing around. Great Work!
I loved it! This made me laugh, only because anytime I bowl I go on luck alone!! Skill has nothing to do with me!! I gave you five stars because there is nothing I would change about this. You described something you love to do perfectly. Simple thoughts on bowling turned into a poem, it was very creative! Great Work!
There's so many different forms of poetry and I love how you showcased some of them in this one! It was creative and fun. I could imagine this on the chalk board of a high school English teacher, trying to motivate her students to write poetry and learn the different ways. I like how you wrote "if only just in verse be free". That's the best advice. Great Work once again!
This one had me in awe. I thought it was creative and beautiful. I could imagine you at the ocean listening to the waves and witnessing the beauty making you yearn for the warmth of love. I was moved by this one as well. You have a way of grasping the reader and not letting go until the last word. Great Work!!
Great Great Great Great!!!!! First of all this read and flowed right through my mind. It takes true talent to do this. I believe with this one you reached every writer out there. I felt like you picked the word's right out of my mind. I love how you ended it. That was the strongest ending I could have predicted. Great Work once again!!
Beautiful! As I read this I picture two people who truely love each other staring into each other's eyes. I like your poet's note at the begining. The way you wrote this makes the reader believe you just look at your lover all day long and love it so much. That's why I like poetry and yours especially. What the poet wishes and wants to do and be is embeded within the words of their poetry. I feel this here. Great Work once again!
First of all I know how hard it is to write personal issues and past demons of your life, but then I also know how theraputic it can be. This took courage and grace and both of those things poured gracefully throughout this piece. I was floored as I took a glimpse into your life through such carefully placed and ryhming words. This took true talent. It's hard to tell a story in a poem, especially your own. I love how you saved the truth for the end. While reading your imagining a story and then you get to the end and are told it's real. This was the best part to me. It gave me chills. I believe you are a gifted writer and I look forward to reading more from you.
You reached me deeply with your words in this poem. I love the way you write. This reminded me of all of us sitting around my Granddad's hospital bed in his final hours. This is exactly what we did, we recalled stories about him. I love to read a poem I can relate to. You realize as your writing it that it benifits yourself as well as the reader. I found no mistakes, and by the way, I love the tittle. It's simple and strong enough to hold the poem together. Great Work once again. I always enjoy your poems.
Your poem is in the shape of a knife! That is so cool!! What is even more cool is how great it was. I can see how much work and construction you put into this one and I am impressed. It was thought provoking and it also held a little bit of mystery. I was waiting to see what was behind the layers... only to find more layers. I loved it and there is no way I would suggest you change a thing. It would mess up the blade. Great Work!
I read your poem several times over and each time I got a different feel for what you expressed. I loved it even more the last time I re-read it. It reads great with easy flow. I like the optimistic view it puts on life and searching for where you belong! My favorite verse was the fifth one. I related to it the most!! Great Work as always!
I loved this!! I love how you described being trapped in a hollow shell afraid to come out and deal with the feelings. There is nothing in this I would change. I found it to be romantic and bittersweet. This gave me chills I could not ignore. Great work!! Please keep writing!
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