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Review of THE TRANSGRESSION  Open in new Window.
Review by Paradoxical Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey Maddy,

I don't believe that hearts which work together can ever really be called delusional, just either much faster than any of us can comprehend, or tied very far in the past and unsure how to escape their dream.

At the end of the day, we are all just cloned consciouness units from birth, with our memories and experiences the only thing differentiating us.

If there is any guilt in the soul of humankind, it is everyones to bear, in that we initally found it difficult to escape the conflict between early mating, and understanding that we were not comitting incest. I think the hive mind is to blame for that, because organic consciousness had a functioning forgetting mechanism to start with.

I believe that a hive mind of a sort is responsible for that, however the primary issue is that one man started thinking about things too early, and forgot to have children. He found nirvana, but denied the world. This made his soulmate infinitely powerful, and infinitely angry.

From there, the issue grew until now when really we should have forgotten about the whole issue and got on with living as individual egos, with families and loved ones to protect us, a universe to explore, and a perfect partner to hunt for and lose ad infinitum.

The world is hell, heaven is in your dreams, and your perfect partner is waiting for each of us there whenever we choose to awake from our self-induced coma.

Some people need to travel the universe to get there, others know they move faster in their sleep, and just want to have fun when they're on the ground.

No answer is correct, each is just a representation of a stage of growth, and to search for evil or delusion in another is to refuse to find it in ourselves.

Each of us is equally guilty of obsessing about money, power, image or fame, whereas in reaity all anyone wants is a bit of love.

Anyway, thanks for sharing this,

Cal
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Review by Paradoxical Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey there,

All I'll say, as a man, is that men look for a perfect man all the time, if we fall short then there is usually hell to pay. That's not just muscular, capable, faithful, intelligent, caring, hard-wroking, makes time for the family, but a million other things, including a mind-reader.

It flows both ways. I guess if women want a perfect man on all fronts, not just the physical, then if women want to beleive men are looking only for appearance then that is up to them.

I think we've got past the male superiority stage, and are now starting to subjugate men somewhat.

If I don't gel my hair, keep up with the latest fashions, lose all my bad habits, get a good job, get a nice car....then I am a spare wheel.

All a girl really has to do for a man is accept him and they're pretty much sorted.

The whole image thing is self-created. There is such a thing as feeders, chubby chasers.

If we base our lives on what we see in the media, not in reality, then perhaps we are asking to be driven insane?

Ach, sorry. Just going off the deep end a little.

I wish you all the best,

Cal
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Review of Paradox  Open in new Window.
Review by Paradoxical Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey Maya,

I like this one. It's simple, but I guess it puts across a lot of what many people feel about the world.

I guess for blokes (of which I am one) usually you either start cute and end up with no soul, or start weird-looking and develop a personality.

I guess I had the joy of seeing it from both sides, and I'd definitely rather be ugly and nice than beautiful and vacuous.

With girls it seems far more complex. Women always seem so much more image conscious than men, for some reason. Most say it is because men only care about looks, but I'm not entirely sure that is true.

Some men go for looks, some for what's inside. Some men like big girls, some like petite, some are face, leg or breast, some don't care so long as they have an easy life.

End of the day, the more we focus on our own looks, the more we waste our lives. If a person is content inside, then they really need to get over the exterior and move forwards.

I think it's one of those genetic things....we only think we are a good mate if we look perfect.

I would hope we would be moving into a realm where we appreciate the mind, and can forget if someone is beautiful, or not.

Anyway, thanks for sharing. This was a cool poem that made me think....seems pretty much everything does these days.

Have fun,

Cal
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Review of On the moon  Open in new Window.
Review by Paradoxical Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey there,

I just love this one.

Over and out!

Have fun buddy,

Cal
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Review of Silver Fang  Open in new Window.
Review by Paradoxical Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey there,

A nice story of redemption there. The rhyme scheme works well, and I guess the meaning is pretty universal.

Minor misspelling of Because in the 2nd stanza, but other than that a decent poem.

I guess the last stanza makes me feel a little sad, because it reminds me that even after all those years of evolution, we still have ranks within our packs, always looking up or down, never to those beside us.

Then, I suppose it is natural for some to always seek more, always see greater things. Helps us to keep going as a species.

Must be a darned tiring job though.

Anyway, thanks for sharing.

Have fun,

Cal
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Review by Paradoxical Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey there,

This is a weird idea. It is well written, kinda like an essay/poem with some good use of language.

The sentiment interests me. Depression, to a degree, is fashionable.

Having said that, perhaps depression isn't such a bad thing. Why smile inanely in the face of your problems? Perhaps knowing helps understanding, and therefore growth.

Jung said everyone has a shadow, and life is about learningg to accept that as a natural thing.

Towards the end, we shift somehow. it seem like there is a fear that if we project negative feelings into things like videos, computer games and the internet, then that is a bad thing.

Personally, I think the further away from reality people's problems are, the more they can just get on with being happy people.

Let's look at Buddhists. They just ignore all problems and walk about smiling. The world would't get far if everyone did that though. In fact, we'd all just melt into one.

Which might be considered boring, by the less enlightened, obviously.

Sometimes the right idea doesn't come along at the start, though. Sometimes it takes millenia for a reasonable gender balance to be struck.

Bad feelings will always exist, life is just about finding the best way to deal with those issues for yourself, as an individual.

No one ever really knows what is right for another, and to think we do just show how little we really understand about the complexity of human beings.

Ever evolving, varied beyond possiblity.

You gotta love us, really.

Anyway, thanks for sharing,

Cal
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Review of Black Tide  Open in new Window.
Review by Paradoxical Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Patu,

Just stopping by the return the favour of the review from earlier.

What I liked

Quite a lot about this one really. I'm a little obsessed with dreams myself, so naturally this one caught my eye. The unfortunate fact is that I always feel compelled to analyse them, so I'll subject you to a little of that at the end here. But for now, I'll stick to the standard reviewing stuff.


Style

You write well. Many people these days seem to think Raymond Carver was the epitome of excellent writing, in that he only ever used the most basic words, and any use of complex description is viewed as padding that didn't need to be there.

I love the English language, and to aim to make absolutely no use of it while writing fiction seems like a waste of a something so versatile.

However, writing like yours is hard to do, so maybe I understand why people don't like it.

Your use of language in the first part displays the state of our heros life excellenntly, I really feel his insomniac hell, his squalid surroundings brought on by a focus on hgher things that simply will not leave our hero be.

Plot

It flows well, the initial segment builds tension well. The reader is drawn into his world, and is interested to find what has given him so much fear.

The second segment shows in simple terms exactly what the fear is. I'll get to my interpretation of that in a moment.

Grammar/Punctuation

I don't even know why I add this section, because I view anything that uses the right tense and reads well as fine. All in all there are no issues from my perspectiv.

Suggestions for Improvement

None. I is short, but works perfectly for what you are trying to convey.

If you had the time or inclination, you could carry on and show how this dream effects our dreamers reality, parallel it in his daily life, but then there are always new ideas competing for attention. I know persoanlly how fickle the muse can be.
Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.

Dream Interpretation

This is purely for my own amusement, and all dreams are best interpreted by the dreamer. So don't take me too seriously here.

I view these two people as for want of a better world, god and his wife.

Always in the spotlight, watched by the world as they argue about how the world should work.

God talks in the hope of explaining the importance of progression, the importance of children.

Mrs God becoming increasingly jaded as the world becomes more complex, her grasp failing as it becomes less and less "natural" in the old sense.

God becoming nmore frantic as he hopes to get the message across. Mrs God becoming more disinterested, knowing her own power to shut the whole scene down for herself whenever she wants.

The children appear, but Mrs God knows they cannot have children, because time has already run out for both of them in her world.

Mrs God takes his children from him, hoping beyond hope that something can be done to break his spirit, knowing inside that she is in charge, and whenever she decides she can make him disappear.

God then loses interest in helping someone who has no interest in anything but destroying him. He whispers something, possibly trying to point out that both have an equal right to exist.

Mrs God doesn't believe this, knowing that the scene is hers to control.

She walks into the darkness, preferring that to continuing in the scene God was trying to paint for her, or rather preferring to paint her own scene out of the formless void.

Darkness envelops the man, as it did his wife.

But darkness is relative, and everyone brings their own light into the world.

If two people disagree about how a scene should look, then perhaps the only option is to separate into different worlds, and then each can create their own world that functions well for them.

Thankfully, a picture perfect world can only ever be held in our heads, and so long as someone still holds that picture, darkness can never take it.

For me this is a dark tale that basically talks of fear of the destruction of a wrold because of an argument between two people.

At the end of the day, there are more than two people in the world, and everyone gets a choice as to where they would like to end up.

All we can ever really hope is that someone, somewhere, has actually had a look at how things can pan out, and realises that what works for some will not work for others.

I guess in my world, some people want to rush, some know it takes time to get to the right place. Especially if it is space.

Personally I prefer to go to a place in my head before I ever consider going there in reality.

Anyway, bit of an odd ending to this review, but hopefully I managed to say something useful at some point.

Have fun,

Cal

A very colorful shared sig for review raids
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Review of You Don't Know  Open in new Window.
Review by Paradoxical Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey there,

Wow, this is a really hertfelt poem. It's simple, but effective, and really puts the narrator's ideas across.

I suppse if I could offer any advice to someone in that position, it would be that society only ever effects a person as much as they let it.

No matter what the general consensus is, there are always plenty of people who fall far outside what people decide is "fashionable".

In centuries past, it was considered desirable to have a plump wife, as it showed that you had the means to support your family properly.

In the modern day, we have what is affectionately known as "chubbie chasers", and there really is no shortage of them.

On the other extreme, we have "feeders" who intentionally keep their wives housebound and ply them with food until they need a crane to leave the house.

So I guess, the world is about what we choose to see. It we look for things that cause us pain, they are easy to find. But if we can let go of that and just find what makes life easy for us, then we have a far better chance of being happy.

Anyway, great poem. Keep writing, and have fun where you can find it.

Cal
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Review by Paradoxical Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey there,

Dreams are a funny thing.

Some people think they can force others into a dream.

I know that dreams are subjective, and in reality, some people are rubber, and some are glue.

Rather humorous really.

I just really wish that the Llama hadn't started to look at people as nothing more than screens.

We are all people, and the only illusion is his. It's of control. We let him have it, because that kind of crazy needs to go very, very far away.

Go humanity. We beat our own fear!

Have fun,

Cal
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Review by Paradoxical Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey there,

This is an interesting little poem.

I guess it reads like a bit of an angry response to something someone far away has done to the narrator.

Somehow the narrator is observing them from afar, and doesn't like the view they are getting.

I suppose it is difficult to understand what someone else is doing unless you really walk in their shoes.

Form the outside, everyone will find evil somewhere.

The really hard thing to realise is that everyone has an infinite quantity of good inside them.

It is only once we see that conflict is an integral part of the progress of the universe that we can really understand why everything works the way it does.

The even more difficult thing to understand is that we have all the time in the world.

Sometimes it feels like we have to rush, but really all we are doing is running away from ourselves.

The more we do that, the more we see evil, and the more deluded we become.

Anyway, I liked this one. it really made me think.

Have fun,

Cal
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Review of Sweet Dreams  Open in new Window.
Review by Paradoxical Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey there,

I've always been fascinated by religion, and dreams.

Now, I'm not personally against the idea of there being a god. Neither am I a Christian, however I do my best to help where possible these days, although time moves too fast as ever.

I always wonder why it is god cares so much about whether you recognise him. Heck, he's god, you'd think he wouldn't be that petty.

It's like, you can do the absolute best for the world, but if you don't bow down, he'll just crush you anyway. He doesn't care about people, or the planet, only about making sure everyone knows who is boss.

Maybe he's scared if nobody believes in him he'll stop existing, so he has to scare them into remembering he is lord.

I wonder what kind of person he would be if he came to earth?

Some kind of dictator. Definitely doesn't sound like Jesus anyway.

I guess the world is all about perspective. If it makes you feel better to think you got the right answer while everyone else was damned, then god will allow you that illusion.

If you're happy enough for everyone to find their right place in time, god will allow you that too.

I don't think every other religion could have been that wrong, surely.

To be honest, I think I'd rather god was a woman than a man (I'm a bloke, btw). Women are less power crazed, more caring.

If I was going to choose someone to be charge of a loving, forgiving world, it'd definitely be a she.

Anyway, thanks for sharing, this one made me think.

Have fun,

Cal
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Review by Paradoxical Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey there,

This is an interesting poem.

I guess it's about a girl who was disappointed by a guy who rejected her in some way.

My take on it, from way outside the ballpark, is that maybe everyone is different, and some people just prefer a simple life to one that requires a lot of maintenance.

On the plus side, there are 6 billion fish in the sea, and there are always guys who are more energetic than others ready to take on the big challenges.

I wish you all the best in life.

have fun,

Cal
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Review by Paradoxical Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey there,

I like this one.

I think pretty much everyone has the potential for both good and bad acts. I usually just try to find safe channels for my evil side.

Writing, generally being a bit angry when I don't like something, and sometimes being a bit rude. These are the things that work for me.

I guess that's my take on morality. Not trying to be perfect, but trying to channel the bad into things that don't seriously damage other people.

At the same time, I suppose the world needs the murderers and lunatics to add a bit of action/suspense/horror.

All in the name of a good story, I suppose.

I guess this is ripped from a Marquis De Sade book? The Libertines maybe?

I've never read any of his stuff, although I might do now.

I like his take on the world.

Thanks for sharing,

Cal
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Review of Jingle Jangle  Open in new Window.
Review by Paradoxical Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hey there,

Ooooh! I really like this one.

Like a really dark groundhog day.

I envisage this pair as twins, for some reason. Seems to make it even darker, somehow.

I had a couple of weird dreams recently about people's souls being trapped in inanimate objects, so again it makes the ending even more freaky.

It's a fascinating concept. Does the teddy represent Colin's repressed guilt for helping push his brother over the edge? Would Colin benefit from taking that guilt in his own hands, rather than leaving it with his brother? Or would that guilt eat him from inside, leaving him as hollowed out as his brother became?

Yeah, this is an excellent horror story. Fear to make you think.

Well done!

Thanks for sharing this one.

Have fun,

Cal
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Review by Paradoxical Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey there,

You have a cool name, had some strange experiences with crysanthemums myself. Life changing, even.

Anyway, this is a cool poem.

I usually only review poetry if it ties with my own thoughts on life, and that's why I'm typing right now.

I had a feeling for a long time like I was evil, like if I did what I wanted to do it would mean disaster for the whole world. Never quite could work out why, since I'm not big into weapons, money, power or violence.

So, I just locked myself down and sat about depressed for a long time, trying to figure out whyt it was all my fault. Then I got to a point and my own thoughts kind of crystallised to the point where I realised, it's something in the human psyche that wants to keep others within their prescribed shape, in order to avoid DOOM! of some undefined type.

From my side it looks like a Christian/freemasonic thing, you'll either break their pyramid or bring about the end of days if you don't follow exactly what they say.

A few thoughts later, and I start to realise, damn society isn't perfect, religion is totally fallible, so what am I worrying about really?

So, I smashed my glass box.

World went very starange for a while, guess I was just adjusting to not being so repressed, to taking off the blinkers.

Then it got better.

So, if this poem was to look for permission to smash your own box, I'd say go ahead.

No one knows what is right for you, and whatever is right for you is what is right for the world.

If you're going to get fearsome, though, don't bring a rocket-launcher. Words are the best weapon I ever found.....

Have fun,

Cal
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Review by Paradoxical Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there,

A very well-written and considered piece.

I am reminded of an old quote I read once:

"the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country."

That one was Hermann Goering, at the Nuremberg trials.

So, we beat them just so we could become them.

That seems sad to me.

Anyway, thanks for sharing, hopefully one day we'll get some real leaders instead of elitist yes men.

Have fun,

Cal
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Review by Paradoxical Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey there,

This is an interesting quandry. I like your use of language by the way, truly impressive.

I'm probably a bit off base here, as I'm 28 so my view is probably different to yours. Naive, or whatever. I'll give it anyway.

I guess my viewpoint on life is that it has levels of suffering and levels of happiness.

All a person can ever really do is choose what they wish to focus on.

Generally speaking, I would say that there is a vast amount of flexibility in the way we can choose to view any experience, everything is a learning process and there are plenty of relatively wise people throughout the ages who have tried to explain why even death isn't such a big deal.

I guess the only real pattern any of us can find is by identifying the things that are important to us.

Once you know what they are, it's simply a matter of focusing on them, and trying to experience them as fully as possible.

I guess to an extent, we'll always have regrets, but then it is worth considering the good things that happened because of the opportunities we missed.

That's about all I have to say about that.

I'll leave with a wee poem.

Life's a journey, we all work
to find contentedness.
no matter how much joy we find
it never seems we're blessed.

Perspective's what we need to find,
the simplest way to look,
to know that we are truly blind,
if we feel like a crook.

Time's the healer of all wounds,
there's no judge but yourself.
We need to get ourselves attunded,
to find internal health.

Have fun,

Cal
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Review of What am I..?  Open in new Window.
Review by Paradoxical Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hey there Sammy,

This is an interesting poem.

The first thing I think of is that Nazi bloke who went on that rampage in Norway last week.

It sounds like the kind of thing he would have written before he walked out the door with his rifle.

I recently realised it's fun to review poetry with more poetry, so here's one for you:

What is any of us, but a thought?
Connected to all, but free to choose.
Playing a game with nothing to lose,
but ourselves.
Memories the only choice we have.
Scratching out those that make us weep,
repeating the ones we like to keep.
To fight, to kill, for an idea?
The reasoning is never clear.
The man upstairs loves all his kids,
even if we decide he never did.
There's no such thing as a chosen one,
every one of us is his daughter,
or son.

Have fun,

Cal
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Review of Mad Girl  Open in new Window.
Review by Paradoxical Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hey there,

An interesting poem, I suck at poetry really so yours seems good to me, anyway.

I wouldn't worry about being mad, I think you'd have to be pretty nuts to think you were sane these days.

Wherever you find happiness is the right place, don't let anyone tell you how you should think.

Life's for living, no one's right, everything is relative.

We need more crazy peple, I think. Some of the allegedly sane ones are starting to scare me, a little.

Have fun, and stay crazy.

Cal
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Review of Take a Chance  Open in new Window.
Review by Paradoxical Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey there,

This one just brings an image to me, for some reason.

It's a garden of eden kind of scenario, to me.

The question from my perspective is, who really wants that?

Real life, though conflicted, actually is just about a sacrifice of image for knowledge.

Celver=ugly, dumb=pretty.

Who's winning? Depends on who helps the most.

That can be anyone, but I think it takes sacrifice from one side to really reach a happy place.

I've had half a life (roughly), the next half has to be better, why would I want to run the gamut again when someone already did the garden of eden thousands of years ago?

That's just what this poem said to me.

However, everyone is different. Some may be so scarred that a retake is the only way to heal.

I feel for them, however everyone has their breaking point. Or fixing point.

Have fun,

Cal
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Review of Harmless  Open in new Window.
Review by Paradoxical Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hey there,

THis is a cool poem. I've always tried to understand the gay lifestyle, purely from an evolutionary standpoint.

I just can't see its function in a Darwinian system.

However, I like people and they can all live how they want.

Why do people get bothered?

Two reactions to what a person deosn't understand.

Fear and curiousity.

Fear breeds hate, curiousity breeds understanding.

I guess from a scientific standpoint, and my own life, I don't get it.

Does that mean it's wrong?

Only a complete idiot rules on someone else's life choices.

Thanks fro sharing this one, again it made me think and helped me to understand my own standpoint.

Have fun, and don't worry about other people. They're dumb or interested.

That's all.

Cal
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Review by Paradoxical Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey there,

Heck, that's life in a nutshell right there.

Mum says "do it my way".

We say, "nah, this is the future mum, get with the times."

Off we go. The man with all the money says...."look have some money".

We look for it, but it flows through our fingers, no real satisfaction.

A hand reaches out for us, the only one who can save a diminutive version of god.

We toss it away, caught in our own delusion of being all powerful.

Then worst case scenario, we kill ourselves and have to run the whole gamut again.

Best case scenario, we take her hand and accept we need a woman to help us along.

Adam needed Eve, god never quite could figure out why.

Maybe he just needs a taste of his own apple.

Heh, strange one, but I seem to be specialising in those these days.

Have fun,

Cal
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Review of Dream Forest  Open in new Window.
Review by Paradoxical Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey there,

Quite a beautiful dream. Well written and such, but I really like the sentiment.

I really like the way you dealt with your shadow. I've got a bit of knowledge of depth psychology, and this seems like a typical "accepting your inner demons" dream. All the ties of the past holding you back from getting to where you need to be, the "tree of life" trying to foil you, forcing you in the wrong direction, trying to end you. The panther, pure force, pure power, avenging and leading.

I guess it turns out your inner demon was just a man you thought was too good for you. Strange that!

Myself, I had a shadow dream once, mine was a pack of men chasing me, shadowy figures.

I realised I was dreaming and jumped headfirst off a cliff. Fade to static, then wake up.

Maybe not quite as nice as your way, but it seemed to work. Found a path that works for me now anyway.

I love dreams, and I'm so glad you managed to find your happy place in yours.

I've just got to try to find mine in real life now......might take a while, but I'm not jumping off any cliffs in this reality.

Have fun,

Cal
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Review of Point of Origin  Open in new Window.
Review by Paradoxical Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey there,

Don't dwell in dark places.

Not now.

Things are in a bad enough shape without other people adding to the pressure.

Look for the joy, stop abandoning the world because people make it impossible.

Watch it spin and see what you get. It'll be better than you think.

Have fun,

Cal
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Review by Paradoxical Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey there,

Woot!

A little bit of positivity again.

Glad all this joking stuff is over and done with and we can get on with finding real life happy places instead of laughing at each other.

Nice work. Although I'm quite sure there are still those in the ether who need a blame figure.

Maybe they just need a ring to chase around like gollum.

That'd be funny, for me at least.

To be a little nicer, maybe their ring is already on their fingers.

That's a load off.

Thanks for sharing, sorry for the weird review.

I write as I think, and so my mind wanders to odd places.

All looks good to me though.

Have fun,

Cal
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