Heartbreak hurts. You have described the first heartbreak very well. I believe if you dig a bit deeper into the emotional side that the pain of heart break brings you would be able to truly capture the hurt of love in its true form. "To love is to destroy. Like a child finally breaking their favorite toy, never caring that an actual heart was destroyed." I enjoyed reading this, and I know that there is greater to come.
This actually brings back a ring of sadness and nostalgia. I do not miss out houses but it reminds me of how we treat things once we have "upgraded" to the latest and greatest toy on the market. I love the use and turn of phrase that you used to show how forgotten and rundown the outhouse now is, this in my humble opinion is very well done.
I appreciate the time that it takes to truly create a world that seems realistic and draws the reader in. I personally got a little lost in the beginning but was able to pick it back up once I realized that this is Amelia thinking to herself. If possible can we get a bit of back story into how we ended up with the Guards and Sentinels? Other than those minor things I enjoyed the introduction into your story.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/quirky_letters
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 10:18am on Nov 22, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
