I enjoyed this. It is such a true poem, and can really hit home with many who wear that fake smile to avoid their anxiety being noticed. The way you describe each fake emotion, really holds true. The one thing i thought at the end, was maybe just a change in the word "feeling". Maybe thoughts, or angst's? With such a developed poem, feelings just feels (sorry for the pun) to general a word for what goes on with the false emotions.
This is the second poem I have read by you, and I have to say, I am loving your work. Every word is so precise and so strong, that without half of the poem you still get the sense of inspiration and emotion behind the rest. I love how you manage to be so direct, and leave the reader so fulfilled with just 2 lines per stanza and 4 stanzas. It is really great to read your work, I enjoy it very much!
I really enjoyed this piece. The first lines, "Determination..." through "...complete" could be a poem all in itself. It is such a powerful line, and very well written. It completely engaged me and left me wanting to know more about what was to come. It is a truly inspirational work, every line held its own goud and was very strong.
I love the way the sun is described as "mad as a raging bull charging on red rag target" . The imagery it gives off is astounding, and powerful. What i did have some trouble grasping, was the "passion". I was unsure of what the speaker was referring to: the love of the soup or a more in depth meaning. I tend to figure that it's more in depth, however if that's the case, I would like to know more detail about what i going on. Regardless, this work was done well, and I love the way your images stand out!
This is really a deep piece, and very nicely written. It's every girls thoughts to the one who could be, but maybe shouldn't be, the one they are looking for. I like where you broke each stanza, really giving power to the words in each one before it. Your imagery with the dark hair etc. then coming around to the blond, really helps the piece become visual and have a grasp of the choices the speaker has in her mind.
This is so specific, and somewhat random, and absolutely perfect. I love how it's to the point of what you want to say, yet still leaves the reader wondering what was happening.
This poem is one of my favorite that I have read from you. It makes you think about what possibly you have done in your life that people will remember - if anything at all. I especially love the line I hope my son cries when I'm gone. I think it's something everyone thinks about...I wonder how - or even - if I will be remembered by those i love most.
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