I really enjoyed reading this piece, it was like a dream I vaguely remember, nostalgic if I may. My favourite lines were...
"Love can be heavy.....
Love can be light.....
Love can last forever.....
Forever, grasping desperately in the cold."
This reminds me of how I have felt before, falling in and out of love, yet still desperately wanting to hold onto cobwebs when you know nothing tangible remains.
I feel this piece is deeply emotional, as something of this nature is a very personal event. Cheating is cheating regardless of the situation, whether it be on a partner or on a test, it is the known decision to do wrong.
This was my favourite part:
"Throwing ambition down the drain,
Deciding to follow an effortless path."
This is 100% true! Something more of society should abide by.
This piece has been written well, no grammatical or discourse errors. It was a good solid piece, I liked it!
This piece is really good overall! There were not any formatting issues I could see.
The rhyme pattern was irregular and unexpected transitioning from ABCB to ABCD to ABCB. I liked this, it makes everything unexpected and may reflect how spontaneous life is as a whole.
Firstly I wanted to say that this piece flows very easily off the tongue, however I was intrigued by the rhyme scheme as it is aaaa as opposed to abab or aabb, as these are the expected choices. Nevertheless, this makes this piece different from the rest. I like it!
I think that the overall message is something many people will be able to relate to as it is all about spending and the whole fuss with Christmas and special occasions. In a way this makes this piece quite humorous as I for one can relate to the whole pressure of the shopping season and the constant spending, that I believe reflects on society that we are frivolous and we do over-spend.
The ending "High-priced clothes whose costs are topping
A normal sales tag - now we're shopping... " I felt was a brilliant way to end this piece as after all we do not want to spend astronomical amounts, we are normal! The last line grounds the whole piece and it works.
This poem was very good, well done!
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