So far I do like the story, it is a bit short in my opinion but it does have quite a bit of original personality in it. If you're planning on getting this published I would say expand a bit, give some more history between Cody and the main character, and at least give us the name of the main character AND a title to the story. If of course, the title is not untitled 1, which could very well work with the kind of situation I see developing. You've got a great knack at story flow but some things still need a little work, the second parcel of the story is much too short, where are the lines at the airport, how does our guy feel going through customs? The brevity is to be expected in the scene you are trying to portray but it would do to have a bit more substance.
Overall great job, I'll review your second piece here in a few days.
This was very well done. The prose written, though imperfect, matched a sense of the human spirit, of seeking that knowledge that must be gleaned through hard experience. The rhyme in these prose, and the rhythm of the poem itself string the chords of my heart, and I will admit, though callous as I have become, I did feel a bit of a lump in my throat at the end. Well done, I will have to read more of your poetry, and begin writing more of my own, you have made me realize that it has been far too long.
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