I came across your poem "Love is..." and it is really good to read such a lovely poem.
The photograph, the sky, the memories all are forms of love in their own way. Time may fade materialistic things but the love they symbolise remains the same forever and ever.
I read your poem "Leave Me " . The title has a nice appeal to it but as per your context it sounds a bit like an order rather than a polite plea.
A bit work is needed in the punctuation.
But other than that the poem is very good.
As I read the poem I couldn't help but think of an introvert person saying the words. For introverts it is very crucial to spend time alone. It helps them recharge themselves and think, about matters that may not have much importance for others but they tend to overindulge in such thoughts.
I, myself, am an introvert so I can relate to it.
You did a good work and it has a lot of potential to it too.
I randomly chose to read your poem "The Plea Of A Princess" and I am glad that I went through it.
the poem beautifully describes the wait for the "one" who can make us free from the chains, love us for who we are and most of all accept us as we are.
The poem presents an image of a person who's been bounded and caged. She's been forced to chains by a super power.
It shows the believe she has on the one that she desires to spend her life with, one she hasn't even met. Yet she knows he is the one who'll set her free and make her feel loved the way she always deserved.
She has a firm belief that this will happen one day, though today might not be the day yet she believes and thus waits for him.
it was a really good read. Thank you for sharing your work with us.
Keep writing.
Your poem "On Light-- A different view" is really great. It has a lot of potential to it and it was a really good read.
I don't usually go for dark themed works but your poem had me attracted and I just couldn't stop imagining scenarios as I read it.
Comparing the bright to the materialistic was a good point for all that glitters is not gold.
Then the next scenario where you asked whether a person would see the light and choose to ignore the darkness that is there just below the source of light. It sort of pointed towards the corruption that is present everywhere nowadays.
the lines "if it ain't bright,
would it still be the signature of hope,an aura of positive,
which it does proudly carries" pointed towards the good in the bad or the confused ones. There is certainly some good in people they are mere misdirected.
As I said earlier your poem has a lot of potential in it. Thank you for sharing it with us.
I found your work on the review request page.
The title of your work speaks for itself. It tells the reader about the bright and happy poem they are going to read. Great work there👍
The flow goes smooth.
The rhyme is also good. 👍
You expressed the joys of the girl by the repetitive use of "She screeched when" which brought a different flavour to the poem, which is delightful to the reader. 👌
The happy image of child is always in front of us while reading the poem.
Here's an example what it would have looked otherwise-
Her feet felt warm
While her toes, cold
Rumble caused her to tumble
Bubbles touching nose
Sand touching hand
Heat touching feet
She was flying high
When mommy told to say goodbye.
You said you don't wrote poetry too often, I would say you should do it often. You're good at it.
The girl would have really enjoyed at the beach, I think. 😊
Your poem has a lot of potential in it.
You could have made it even more better. Though its still a good one. No doubt.
Kindly note that these are my views only. I'm just an amateur and I'm not that good at reviewing.
The title of your work speaks for itself. It tells the reader about the bright and happy poem they are going to read. Great work there👍
The flow goes smooth.
The rhyme is also good. 👍
You expressed the joys of the girl by the repetitive use of "She screeched when" which brought a different flavour to the poem, which is delightful to the reader. 👌
The happy image of child is always in front of us while reading the poem.
Here's an example what it would have looked otherwise-
Her feet felt warm
While her toes, cold
Rumble caused her to tumble
Bubbles touching nose
Sand touching hand
Heat touching feet
She was flying high
When mommy told to say goodbye.
You said you don't wrote poetry too often, I would say you should do it often. You're good at it.
The girl would have really enjoyed at the beach, I think. 😊
Your poem has a lot of potential in it.
You could have made it even more better. Though its still a good one. No doubt.
Kindly note that these are my views only. I'm just an amateur and I'm not that good at reviewing.
Your poem is good, it give a feel of thankfulness towards the almighty for all the things we have in our life. For all the good things that happened to us and everything.
I like the third stanza very much. It shows how life truly is. And how we can do anything.
"If we want things we can achieve
Usually we need only believe."
It's my favourite of all.
Though I felt there's a bit wrong with a couple of the lines.
"We win our battles without defeat.
We could know hunger but we do not"
Maybe the message that you were trying to give wasn't truly expressed by the lines. Or maybe the lines apply only to certain people.
Well, overall you wrote a good poem.
Kindly note that these are my views only. I'm just an amateur and I'm not that good at reviewing.
So many questions,
the only answer is him.
Maybe he's waiting for you too,
why don't you ask him?
😁😁😁😁
I would say you're feelings were quite visible through the words.
You're asking way too lot of questions, I don't know what's been holding you but if he's blind enough why don't you say it to him.
"Don't just sit back and wait for him.
Maybe he's waiting for you too."
Okay, going back to your work, there were a few minor spelling errors.
I have only every liked a few
i care way to much what you think
You make me what to become a better person
it is to important to have you
Else than that everything was good. Great work👍👍
Kindly note that these are my views only. I'm just an amateur and I'm not that good at reviewing.
It's turning out to be more interesting than I had thought of before.
The action sequences are breath taking.
What I feel is that Robert is facing more enemies than necessary. Like the water viper one.
(It's just my though though, being the writer its your decision)
It seems Robert and Toby are going to be good friends. Or at least good fighting duo.
You're writing a good work of fiction. Keep it up bro.
First chapter was good but the second chapter was even better.
The flow of events was smooth, everything was at its place making the plot much more understandable and the first person view makes the reader feel like it's his own story.
The action scenes were good. I personally felt it was some sort of HOBBIT scene going on in front of my eyes.
I hardly found any grammar mistakes or anything else like that. That means you have certainly evolved as a writer.
I'm certainly going to be looking forward to read all your works.
I read the chapter one, you did a lot better than the draft, I must say.
The story became more and more better as it went on. And I was clearly asking for more by the end.
Plot was superb as I mentioned earlier.
You demonstrated the love of a mother in a very good way.
You did a lot of explaining which is good given the point that the story seems to be long so the readers are going to need that in order to be a part of it.
Even I felt I was living the very life of Robert.
Everything was good and you're writing a brilliant story.
There were some small errors though else everything was great.
As baby Robert and a now aspiring toddler
this worlds measurements of time are different yours
a number of answers where whispered amongst the class,
I'm no good at reviews and I am just an amateur. So please don't mind if I say something that I shouldn't.
I read you work and its amazingly beautiful.
Its really sad how the officials cares those who serve nation only till they are capable and once decapitated they are rejected just like that.
You kept the words simple and they were very clear in presenting the picture that you tried to portray.
The flow of the poem was smooth.
Your description was beautiful.
There's no flaw in your work in my view.
I see you wrote a poem describing Death. Great work 👍
As I read the title I was of the thought that it is going to be something about the effect death of a loved one. But as I read it, I found you have personified the Death itself.
Reading it surely will give some chills to the reader.
I could find nothing wrong with the poem, you did a great job describing the feelings (if any) and work of death.
"His responsibility
To a sacred oath."
It was my favourite line of the poem. I love how you said his dreaded act is because of an oath taken by him so he can never stop taking lives.
I'm earning my sparkles at "Invalid Item" to spread sparkles for Phoebe around WDC!
Hi, its Shivay💃
I happen to come across your poem as I was wandering across read and review section and the title of your work instantly caught my attention.
Though it is a long one but it perfect serves the purpose of attracting readers attention. Good work there👍
I can say that the your poem is something that I've been longing for a long time to read.
You perfectly conveyed the emotions in the poem.
The choice of words is definitely appreciable. (though I had a bit problem with it because English is my third language)😊😊
But that's okay I just had to open a dictionary.😁😁
The rhyme in the poem is definitely good.
You did a great work here too.
I had a bit problem with the line " Along this journey the devils team"
I don't know much about English rules so maybe that's why I felt so.
I'm earning my sparkles at "Invalid Item" to spread sparkles for Phoebe around WDC!
Well we all hate Monday more than anything else. Its like everytime we have weekends full of fun and enjoyment, Monday is there, at the end of weekends looking straight into our eyes and telling us, "I'll see you"😒😒
Well getting back to your poem, it is a really nice work. The title is captivating and we all really want to know about our enemy😁
I must say that you did a great job in the choice of words. Though these are not the general word but they really increase the fun of reading. And of course the meaning strikes in a more meaningful way.
Not only you explained about the way Monday hurts our feelings but you did a superb work in telling how people come over their grief and get back to prospering and living their lives, showing devotion towards their work.👌👌👍👍
As I came across your story, the title caught my attention, at first I thought it would be about something else than world saving. Maybe some lost heart or some lost peace.
From the frist line you managed to capture the readers attention. We all were part of the search. Eager to know what is it that's missing and why is it so necessary to find it.👍
You wrote a nice thriller, and for a short story of 300 words you did a great work.👌
You had a great start a nice story body Though I felt the end was a bit weak than the rest. ( I'm not good at reviews and its just mu thinking as I'm fond of longer stories) But its okay as you wrote it in 300 words.
You wrote a beautiful poem, and the fact that it describes the amazing feeling of loving someone and being loved by them makes the poem more lovable.
I was kinda hoping that it would contain those out of the world experiences and beyond reality things,
But when I read it, it turned out to be super sweet one. I loved it all right from the start.
The narration, the flow everything was brilliant, you did a great job expressing your thoughts about your love. I liked the rhythm of the poem and the use of rhyming words was done brilliantly.
Love is such a beautiful feeling and you too described it in a beautiful way. Wish you luck for your love life.
Well, the title of your poem was surely worth generating curiosity.
After all we all have different personalities. And of course the best of a person come out only when he's wearing a mask.
In such a short poem you did a great job of expressing what dark side you wanted to talk about.
Selection of words are superb and I surely liked the rhyming words at the end of the lines.
I liked a few of the lines though.
"Weary of emotion
Withered by possession"
"smile..
At all my creations,
Oh man... my thoughts sure run wild!"
As I was surfing around I saw your work. Mere Reading the title was enough to make me curious about what's inside.
Now the body, Your poem is quite good. But I would have surely have enjoyed if there were more lines added to it.
Being an Indian I'm aware of wrath and glory attached with goddess Kali, and I was kind of expecting it to be more aggressive sort of work.
But nobody thinks the same. I would you did a great job in telling about kali. Its short and sweet.
And ya we don't have to fear about her wrath while going through the poem. The sweetness and simplicity are something that I liked about it the most.
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