Interesting work. Dialect has me confused at time. I do not know who is saying what, which caused me to re-read over and over trying to follow. It distracts your reader, and takes away from an other wise intriguing work. I only say this regarding coma usage, because I realize how poor my own coma usage is. Tighten up your comas, it also distracts your readers from your fine work. Good luck!
Sweet and charming work. I like the way you utilize repetition. It has a nice effect in this poem. Would love to see you expand upon this work. The slight hints to something more pull you reader in. I enjoyed this and look forward to more of your work. Good Luck!
Nice slow build. Enjoyed the way the story unfolds with the legend. Nice way of clueing the reader into more details about the main character,
ie "This is a dream. I am a college student at Northwestern, he is trying to confuse me." Nice cliffhanger at the end I can't wait to read more.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/poprouge
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.10 seconds at 3:39pm on Dec 28, 2024 via server WEBX2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
