I really loved the story! It had a good plot line, as well as good character layouts. However, a few things I think seem a little extreme is the fact that Starr has a wolf puppy. Perhaps change it to a more wolf like breed, like a Husky, Norwegian Elk Hound, etc. Also, the way the bullies treated Starr seemed a little more on the fictional side rather than the creepy, realistic vibe given off by most other creepy pastas. Aside from those few flaws that I see, as well as the grammatical and spelling errors, the story is really great! I entirely recommend it!
Great poem! Perfectly describes every Halloween! My favorite parts are:
No moon shines to light the night (You would think the full moon would be out, but its creepier with no moon)
A night when the door bell constantly rings (Personaly, I think that would get annoying if the door bell didn't stop ringing)
I like the rhymes, its very creative. I also like how it has the words coloured. But, I think you could've added some purple so you have both colours of Halloween.
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I like the story line of which I've read. I've been reading the storyline on which Rico has put a formula in Lily's drink and she has the mind of a four year old. Although, some chapters are too short and could be remade into more detailed and interesting story chapters. Other than that, the story is good by far.
This is an awesome story! I like how the names have numbers and the twist on the random murder! I love mysteries and this is by far the best one I've read so far (besides 'The Westing Game' and 'The Hardy Boys'. I think its awesome how Trevain 272 only commited the crime to get back at Jessop 56 for Julia 934 going to the stasis chamber! Great plot line!
Hey, nice poem! It's BEAST! But I think instead of shimmers it should be simmers. Its truly amazing. I could never write a poem like that. It basicly describes the way I felt towards this guy I liked about this kid I dated in second grade. He was the first guy I ever kissed but he got cancer and died. I miss him... Any way, great poem.
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