THIS WAS VERY INFORMATIVE!!!!! I especially liked how you mentioned the sights you visited and what you liked and disliked about them. You even gave tidbits on places you didn't visit. I love how it was highly factual and how your opinions were based on your actual observations. Kudos!!! I would use this as a guide, deifinitely.
WOW. I really enjoyed this poem. Mostly because it is relatable in different levels. It seems to be based on a personal experience of yours but I can relate myself. For there are days, moments where I have had that sense of doom. Almost everyone has on different levels. I especially like your use of language. The way you used the word beast, for it is such a relative term. A term with definite meaning but no definite form or shape and can be changed with each person's perception. The way we view things in the dark which we cannot make out clearly with our eyes. Things we know can be defined, but are unsure of WHAT they are and let our fears shape them. Anywho, i enjoyed this poem. ALOT. Thanks for sharing it.
I was a little confused as to how the two connected until I got to the final statement. I liked your statement about the plight of mankind. How it is not "Why?"but "who are we?" The final statements were strong, evocative. But I do wish you did set a clearer boundary between the story and the parallel. But I assume that Srey is the dead 15 year old girl in the paper. If so, the connection is quite clear. If not, then I am just confused. But as I said, the final statements were quite strong and that strength pulled everything together.
ooo. I want to read more!!! This was a really interesting read. I'd like to see what the other sections of this work in progress are like and would love to see the completed version. I did notice a few spelling errors but they were very few.
I still do not have a clear idea as to what kind of training Seth is getting but based on the title and the description of Kai, I feel it has a little more to do with the supernatural. I think if I read more excerpts from this story, I might get a clearer idea.
Well, I hope you found this review to be helpful :)
If you can, please stop by and check out my portfolio. So far, I only have one poem in there but I do plan to expand it a little more, soon.
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