This was a very well- composed and cleverly constructed poem. The essence of "The 12 Days of Christmas" is clearly evident, but is not overwhelming. I particularly enjoyed the slight modifications you have made to the original carol: "On the first day of Christmas, whatever did I see,': they have accumulated into an unique and personal interpretation of the carol, whose perhaps 'old-fashioned' lyrics do not remain very relevant to contemporary audiences. I believe you have 'restored' this well-known carol into a relevant and applicable jingle, returning its relevance in an intelligent and cheerful manner without inflicting its elegant simplicity.
There were, as I can perceive, no grammatical errors or forced rhyme: your chosen words fit perfectly with the structure of this carol. I think, perhaps, the only aspect that may be worth some consideration is the inclusion of more personal - and consequently unique - 'views' of Christmas (as some of your 'views', such as "two holly wreaths", are quite conventional). However, if this is truly your own perception of Christmas, or you are aiming to ensure that this poem is relevant for a majority, this piece does not have any necessary improvements!
You have a very good ear for rhythm, and can clearly group words in such a way as to ensure a smooth transition of rhyme. Great job, and keep writing! :)
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