Relift-This is a beautiful story of eternal love. When you introduce the shuttle and the physicality of the explotion the ethereal quality is lost, for a moment. But it's an important momemt. If you can describe the shuttle, the disaster, the funeral, with the same evocative style as the beginning and the end, the story will be even better than it already is. I really like your writing technique.
Mir- What attracts me to this short piece is your intellect and style. But I feel like I walked into the middle of a speech. Tell me 'how' life has become so predictable. Give the reader something to visualize. The ideal of love as our only language is beautiful. Expound on this and your work will be more complete. Enjoyed.
I enjoyed this short story and your style of writing. The sentence about the uncle's experience in Nam, where you say 'gave him" , isn't as smooth sounding as the rest. Maybe "given him" fits better.
I love the part 'Then it happens". As the reader i knew the gist of the story was about the happen. And you did not disappoint me.
I feel weird reviewing this because your voice reminds me of a teacher's voice and who am I to to critique a teacher? I have this informative article a 5 because your guidelines are exactly what I needed to know.
Overall- I sensed your sadness as being perceived as a throw away person. And also the unfairness of that perception. There were a few grammatical errors, or typos perhaps. At any rate it's an experience that that will surely mark your life with a richness that I hope you will write more about.
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