This is an amazing story and it must have a lot of meaning to it and I think it has just the right amount of imagery and detail in it so that you keep reading it and think about what happened in the readers life.
Overall It makes me feel like i'm there in this place watching whats happening to this person and it's sad.
In the eighth line in the first paragraph is it suppose to be attempt? I think this is a great poem and it sounds like you don't try to rhyme it just happens and it flows well with the rest of the poem. I think you should write more poems, it seems like you are good at writing poems.
This is a great poem, you have a couple grammar errors. You have just enough imagery and detail that as i read i can imagine this and its a sad poem but its also how you feel.
It makes you think that life is to short and you have to do things before the opportunity fades away. I really like this, you have the right amount of imagery and detail. I would love to read more.
This makes you think a lot about that special L word. It means a lot that you wrote a poem about it. I love this poem, its great and it has a lot of imagery and detail, it really catches the attention of the reader. I would like to read more.
This is a sad story, I love horses so this kind of makes me gasp when you say that you saw the bullet hole. You have a couple grammar errors but other than that this is a great story and I think that you should make it longer and continue with it.
This story reminds me of Michael Myers , but it has good detail and I don't understand why he only killed the guy and not the girl, and then he himself called 911. Its a good idea for a story but its to close to the movie and I think that you should change it and make it your one story with more imagery and make it better. You sould make it where he only kills girls or only guys or just teenagers. Its a good story starter though.
I like this story and it has a lot of detail and imagery. You have commas that are not needed in some areas. Its a very descriptive story and I like that it makes you think and I would love to read more.
This poem is sad and I think that it has great imagery and detail. It makes you think that we don't know what we had until its gone. I would love to read more.
It has a lot of imagery i can see this and feel it and it makes you think. I think that you could describe it more. Be more specific like is it painful or just depressing when you have been defeated? I would like to read more and I think you have a lot of potential.
I think this could be longer I would like to readd more on this story. It was good but I think there could be more detail and descibe what ws in the picinic basket and what they did. I also think there could be more imagery.
I like the comparison about the cheerleaders and them running into a branch. It was really good and it grabbed my attention. I think you should add just a little more detail though like describe the bite with more feeling and the feeling of killing someone.
it's short and i think there could be more detail and more imagery. I feel that it could be a little longer unless it was meant to be this short. I like it but why do you compare marriage as a hell?
I think you should write more and make it longer because this is good it just doesn't have enough detail for me. I feel that it doesn't have enough imagery but it flows good.
I like the line "so you cannot rip it out again" because its like your saying that this person has ripped it out before and you gave them another chance.
I alos like how you said "i lost my heart" like you lost your heart to this person.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/pilandchristy
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.12 seconds at 7:20am on Nov 22, 2024 via server WEBX2.