I think your prompt response is what everybody should do in real life. If we looked at different situations in different angles, then we would see the whole picture and might be able to understand peoples' motives and differences.
I wish you good luck writing and hope to read, rate, and review more items in your port.
Thanks for winning my event "Men’s Skeleton" during this site's Olympic Auction.
Things I liked:
You are good at doing descriptions, and my favorite line/description is: A shadowed sepia landscape of marriages and mirages, births won and battles lost that stretched before her like a fog enshrouded blue road curling off into the distant mountains. I liked how you incorporated two definitions of the word "will" (a will that people sign stating how their belongings will be distributed once they die, and will as in someone's strength to carry out his or her wishes).
Some Improvements:
In the sentence No, today she was hemmed in by and almost suffocating from, a century of memories, I would recommend placing a comma between the word "by" and the word "and". I read the sentence twice to understand the meeting, and a comma would help make the sentence more understandable.
I hope I can read, rate, and review more items in your port. I wish you good luck writing. Congratulations on winning the first place in the contest.
Angelus
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/pikachu
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 8:16am on Dec 22, 2024 via server WEBX1.