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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/pietpatat
Review Requests: OFF
20 Public Reviews Given
20 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of The Pedestal  
Review by Patada
Rated: E | (3.0)
This sounds like "Sad Moon Rising"😒😒

I'm glad I read it, but not my style.

Keep writing
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2
Review by Patada
Rated: E | (4.0)
Well written, nice vocabulary and well constructed sentences.

It could just as well describe a nice dream without dragons & kings👌👌

Well done & keep writing.
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3
Review of Rolls n Rounds  
Review by Patada
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
This is well written. I recommend the correct use of quotation marks in dialogue though:
Example
"You good in there?" Yes I am, I replied.
Should be "You good in there?" "Yes I am", I replied.

With this being "Part 1" I trust that the main purpose of part 1 is to introduce the loving couple and set the scene for much to come.
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Review by Patada
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
REVIEW REQUEST "The Little Antique Shop"
 The Little Antique Shop  (E)
A poem written to express the enchantment one could find by going off the beaten track
#2307968 by Patada
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Review by Patada
Rated: E | (3.5)
Well written piece. A "twist in the tail" would have been a bit more satisfactory though. Maybe Mr. Henderson could have incorporated Alex's material into a revised learning plan with much success??
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Review of Warmth  
Review by Patada
Rated: E | (4.0)
Nice nuances.

It leaves one with a lot to ponder, just like a dream of which the end can not be remembered.
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Review by Patada
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a lovely piece.
The relationship between two people of different generations demonstrates true friendship without any other connotations.
Arthurs expression of his need for Emily to remember him tells of a deep longing in hi heart to be loved, maybe because he was badly let-down by someone in his life before he met Emily.

Well done.
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Review of Kinder to Pro  
Review by Patada
Rated: E | (2.5)
No comment
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9
Review of A writers quote  
Review by Patada
Rated: E | (5.0)
😁😁😁 very true indeed!! Well formulated.
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Review by Patada
Rated: E | (4.5)
Indeed a very good sales pitch.

I don't own a golf cart, but this write-up made me want to buy one so that I could get some 10LOL products to enhance it!!!!

Well written with some repetition at the end. I suppose repetition often helps to enforce a final decision to buy something.
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Review of Au Contraire  
Review by Patada
In affiliation with The Newbie Nook Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
I like the message that is being portrayed here.

- Attention must be paid to some language i.e. use "four" instead of 4, "fill" instead of "feel".
- It's not good where "ship" is repeated in two sentences to get something to rhyme.

Some practice will make things better.
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Review of Story of my life  
Review by Patada
In affiliation with The Newbie Nook Group  
Rated: E | (2.0)
Sjoe, this is quite morbid - but not the subject of my review....

I don't know if its me, but I struggle to find the rhythm in the poem.

Personally I also don't like the, seemingly avoidable, compromising of good language.
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for entry "Enchanted Breeze
Review by Patada
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Short and sweet though very powerful in the deeper sense.
After some of our wishes do materialize into our realities if we keep believing in: "the sky is the limit".
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Review by Patada
Rated: E | (3.5)
Good day,

The language and composition of this article is impeccable.

The abuse of our planet by the human race is indeed a matter of concern and not necessarily a cause for us to be "scared".

"Our role in the Universe is dubious".... This could stated as "The impact of the Human Race on the Universe is dubious" while our role is what we were placed here to do i.e. "take care of creation"

I enjoyed getting some insight into your views and concerns regarding matters involving the abuse of Mother Earth and the Universe. We can only trust that the numerous forums that preach against this flourish in their successes.
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Review by Patada
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Hardii,
This is indeed filled with true emotion. While reading the poem I could sense that it was heartfelt. I think that the "Maiden" will fall deeper in love with you when she reads this.
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Review of The Boulder  
Review by Patada
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Tia,

Something quite different. I am not really a poetry person but I like the way in which you capture the existence of a boulder.
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Review by Patada
Rated: E | (3.5)
Somewhat weird. But I suppose the theme is contradictory by nature.

Well written and it leaves one to continue wondering what the the cause of the character's high stress level could be.
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18
Review by Patada
Rated: E | (3.5)
This an excellent alternative perspective. After all there is always more than one angle to every situation...
I like the wolf's equation of himself to Santa because the chimney.
The wolf's language is not all that pure, but that can be forgiven because the wolf himself is bad after all.
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Review by Patada
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is an excellent article that really offers good insight that can be used, not only to engage in relationships, to start practicing in existing relationships.
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