I don't normally go for this sort of thing, but I quite enjoyed it. The jagged style of speech the protagonist uses got a little old, but was still completely appropriate for the character. It's always interesting to see the story of romance from an unorthodox point of view. The title's perfect--lets you straight into what we're in for. I didn't care for the moments that the narrator addressed the brother ("don't jump up like you're going to hit me", etc)--they felt a little unnecessary, and distracted from what the protag was getting at in the first place. Still: decent enough piece. Well done.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/phillipkeeling
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.10 seconds at 2:08am on Nov 13, 2024 via server WEBX2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
