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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/pgkirk
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3 Public Reviews Given
18 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by pgkirk Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Richard,
Another great chapter. Here's my feedback.

Check the punctuation or capitalization in "“The smart one's are always shy though.” with still no reply"

What was the motivation of the soldier? What was he trying to do to Treasa?

Just curious, I am assuming that this story is taking place in 1861's. Wasn't the literacy rate very low in the 19th century, especially for women? Here's a site I was reviewing: http://www.newenglandancestors.org/education/artic...

Wow, I didn't see the Civil War coming in to your novel. Great twist! Where's chapter 4?

Great job! Is it possible on writing.com for you to send out e-mails to people when you have another chapter ready? If so, please add me to the list.
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Review by pgkirk Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Richard,
Another great chapter. I'm really liking these characters. Tell me more about Séamus and Treasa Kelley. Seamus has black hair and Treasa red. How else would you describe them? Are they tall, medium or short? How old is Connell?

What happened to the herd? Seamus was driving them back to the paddock when he heard the screams. Wouldn't Seamus move the herd back to the Spring Fields so that they would not be caught up in the fire started by his house?

Just some thoughts. Off to chapter 3 (You've go me hooked!)
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Review by pgkirk Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Richard,
Great read! Here's some feedback.

You may want to copy-n-paste the content in to MS Word and turn-on Grammar check. There are some split-infinitives, punctuation, and possible grammar choices you could consider.

In the third para, you state, "it had been their goal over the last two hundred years." Who does "their" represent, the British?

When you talk about the wolves taking the sheep, you state, "both the four and two legged kind." What do you mean by two legged wolves? Are these humans in wolves clothing?

Lastly, why did Treasa believe that life would be better in America?

I really enjoyed reading Chapter 1. I'll read Chapter 2 as well. Great job!!!
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