Nice -- there's a definite image created here. Haikus are difficult to write, and I haven't had enough experience with them to give a whole lot of advice. It's always worth playing around with the texture and color of words to evoke different pictures and emotions, so maybe you could tweak some of the language here, if you're looking to revise or anything. And again, haikus are really hard, but this is just a general note. (:
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