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Review of Soul Mates  Open in new Window.
Review by Penemue Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.5)
Since this is an incomplete work, I can’t say for certain, but at present it seems like you are blending the Bible with the “twin flame/twin soul” theories of Greek mythology, put forth in Plato’s Symposium. The major difference at present being that in Aristophanes tale humans originally had two heads, and also four arms and four legs, whereas in yours they still have two heads, but only two arms and two legs, so it will be interesting to see how you ‘half’ them, if that is in fact your intention.

I am rating this rather low because there are quite a lot of spelling errors throughout.
Fix them, and I’ll delete my rating and mark it higher…

Paragraph 2:

”All the animals that roamed the earth were also liek this: one body, two heads, and one magnificent sould. There was no male or femal, the two were s imply one being:

Change “liek” to “like”
Remove the “d” from “sould”
Add an “e” to the end of “femal”
Remove the space between “s” and “imply”

Paragraph 3:
”…as they wandered the footpaths adn enjoyed the splendors…”
“…were sould mates, born together, living together, adn after many, many yearas, dying together.”
“And so it was that for thousands of fyears, these extraordinary beings walked teh earth…”


Change “adn” to “and” in both instances.
Remove the “d” from sould
Remove the second “a” from “yearas”
Remove the “f” from “fyears”
Change “teh” to “the”

Paragraph 4:
”As William and Tahra sat in the shade ofo a tree…”
“…they could not sense hihs sould for it had become simply a ghost …”
“And yet the creatur slithered towards them…”
“…how it had eaten of the fruiut, made a home of the twigs, and used teh leaves as herbs. It spoke of enlightenment and true sight and the wonders of the products of the tree.


Remove the second “o” from “ofo”
Remove the seconh “h” from “hihs”
Remove the “d” from “sould”
Remove the second “u” from “fruiut”
Change “teh” to “the”

Paragraph 6:
” We shall not eata of the great tree's produce."

Remove the second “a” from “eat”.

Paragraph 7:
”They are a strong protector against teh predators fo the garden."

Change “teh” to “the”
Change “fo” to “of”

Paragraph 9:
”…telling them of the many uses fro te leaves of the great tree

Change “fro” to “for”
Change “te” to “the”

Paragraph 10
” What is forbidden to you shoudl not be placed so temptingly…”
“I have been enlightened adn know all the knowledge fo t he world."


Change “shoudl” to “should”
Change “adn” to “and”
Change “fo” to “of”
Remove the space between “t” and “he”

Paragraph 11
”They each plucked a bright red orb from teh tree. It tingled in their palms and feld cool against their flesh.”

Change “teh” to “the”
Change “feld” to “felt”

Paragraph 13
”William and Tahra, sharing each toher's persuasive thoughts…”
“ As they ate fo teh forbidden fruit…”
THey gathered the greata tree's fallen crop…”


Change “toher’s” to “other’s”
Change “fo” to “of”
Change “teh” to “the”
Make the “H” in “THey” lowercase
Remove the second “a” from “greata”

This is not a bad piece of work by any means, but it is very obviously a first draft.
A successful blending of the Old Testament and Greek mythology could make for a very interesting read, and as I said at the start, I am interested in seeing where exactly you intend to take it next.
The spelling errors do make it a difficult read however, and, as I also said at the start, if you care enough about the reader to fix them, I will certainly improve my rating.
Best wishes,

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