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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/papermonster
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3 Public Reviews Given
3 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of 9/6/2016  Open in new Window.
Review by papermonster Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Wow, I like this piece. You did a really good job, though really I hate poems that rhyme. But the subject matter makes me forget that. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside that someone who struggles with mental illness is not alone. Gives me hope. I would like to sing this as a song, a sort of anthem.
Cheers,
thePapermonster
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Review by papermonster Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.5)
Interesting narrative of the wonderful life of wolves.
P.S. I love wolves.
But this 'poem' is pretty basic, if I wanted to learn about wolves I would have watched the discovery channel.
More descriptive fancy words to describe the wolves would have nice.
If this was about a specific pack in which you describe their everyday lives and then introduce a catalyst that changes their lives forever making fight for lives and defy their very nature to survive, that would have been awesome.
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Review of Untitled 4  Open in new Window.
Review by papermonster Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
It doesn't need a name with such a wonderful description. "a horror story about bananas", I had to read it after that. I love stories done just for fun.
This is well written so far. I love how you painted the first scene of the feast so well, seriously, I felt like I was there.
You sure know your way around food, and how to describe it.
You did well at making me hate the king, typical tyrant. I would like to read more to see something bad happen to him.
BTW, you forgot the 'S' in lobster.
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