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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/pablo360
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13 Public Reviews Given
13 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Natasha & Naomi  Open in new Window.
Review by Paul M ~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is the greatest romance about a woman eating another woman that I have ever read. Where has this been all my life?


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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Review by Paul M ~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Yes. Just. Yes.

This is an amazing thing. It needs to exist, and it does. If more people knew this existed, the universe would be around 50 percent better.

What's even better: I only counted eight or nine grammatical/spelling mistakes, tops, and I can't remember exactly where most of them were. If you knew me, you'd know that, for a work of this size, that's high praise.

You are now my favorite person on writing.com.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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Review by Paul M ~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Extremely eloquent and well-written. Clearly this piece was well-planned in advance. The topics flow into each other smoothly, one idea leading to another, in perfect sync, until their final destination is revealed in the end. There are only two flaws I can find in this work: The repetitive repetition in the sentence, "So what happens to cause this strange happening to occur?", is repetitive, and the lack of double line breaks and indentation between paragraphs. It may seem weird that pressing tab while writing doesn't transmute to the finished work, but there is an indent shortcut provided. Still, I can't take off even a half a star for a work with only two errors and both of them minor, especially when it's just so true.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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Review of Chaos Personified  Open in new Window.
Review by Paul M ~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am not entirely sure what to think of this. On the one hand, the vivid imagery and incongruous juxtaposition create a very definite concept while not leaving any abstract artifacts of subject, essentially making this an open-ended concept study with a specific concept. On the other, the second paragraph seems to be more of a demonstration of the topic than would normally be desired. In the future, consider spacing out ideas more, and avoid ending on phrases such as "strewing flatulent action." That's the sort of thing that seems to ask for a couple of closing lines to tie the whole thing together. On the whole, though, it's a very good, compact poem that could easily allow hours upon hours of tireless literary interpretation.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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5
Review of Candies of Change  Open in new Window.
Review by Paul M ~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is a truly creative enterprise. I am impressed with the huge amount of numbers it puts up when it comes to chapters, but with such a simple yet diverse subject, it's not surprising. Truly, you can find anything within these pages.

Obviously, I'm not familiar with all of the storylines, but I have noticed that, unfortunately, some of the early ones are fraught with "junk chapters." These are short, one-line chapters which attempt to clarify the choice which brought you there. While it is impossible to fix all of them, and it's certainly no fault of yours, Sentinel, it would seem prudent to put up a more strenuous warning against them than you currently have and to remove some of those which are stubs.

Good luck on all your future endeavors, as well as this one. It's massive, but you've clearly earned it!
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Review of Needing Comfort  Open in new Window.
Review by Paul M ~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I think you're perfectly correct - we all need comfort. We may not all go about seeking it the same way, and it rarely manifests itself identically, but when push comes to shove, it's truly comfort that drives us. In the past, I have wondered if that is a good thing, but here you show that comfort in its purest form is simply the essence of life - those little things that are so very, very big. What we do not do for comfort, we most often do for some sense of security or otherwise because we don't know what to do. When we are comfortable, we can think more clearly, and when we do, and when we appreeciate our comfort, we can see that the little things - the strange things - the comfortable things - are what make life worth living. And that's exactly how it should be - as you write, it is true. Bravo!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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