Wow! This poem spoke to my shy heart. Just earlier today my dad and I went to visit an old friend... long story short, the old friend and my dad did 99% of the talking. But they were kind enough to not say anything about my quietness. They've gotten used to it.
Hi,
I liked your idea of writing about a creek you remembered. I often recall things of the past in a nostalgic way.
BUT...your diction was a bit off. And I'm not sure what you meant when you said, "...he sat in the bushes with a braless blonde..." Obviously you meant she was braless. I just thought that was a bit...dirty.
Overall it was at best only a fair piece. Keep trying!
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/oony
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.18 seconds at 7:30pm on Sep 28, 2024 via server web2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
