This was very inspirational, both in it's tone, and in the manner in which you formulated such a beautiful story. You are truly a story teller and an imaginative writer with a positive message for the world. Thanks for pointing me in your direction.
I believe this is autobiographical by the tone of your writing.Do not beat yourself up my friend. I have been where you are. I have lived the shame of surviving and having a feeling of failure amid catastrophic anarchy. I was a Marine attached to the 22nd MAU in Beirut, Lebanon on the fateful day back on October 23rd, 1983. I was a sentry assigned to our perimeter while our unit slept. A bomb laden truck breached our compound and brought down the building that housed the finest Marines I had ever met. The loss of 241 Marines plagues me even today.
I cursed God, not for taking them, but for not taking me. Where was my flag draped coffin. I had failed, and therefore had no right to live. Intellectually, I know I was not responsible. We were sitting ducks. Marines wage war....not peace. We dig in and spread out. We set up lines of fire. We have air, land, and sea support. One single terrorist should never have been able to wipe out so many well trained Marines. Despite my knowledge, I still took responsibility for many years. I have become an alcoholic (now in recovery), been institutionilized in a psych ward at the VA, and have lost all sense of myself.
I have to remember that I did not create the conditions, and that I too was a victim. In many ways, my scars run deeper than those who paid the ultimate sacrifice on that fateful day. Today I try to have a consious contact with God. Acceptance and faith will get you through the difficult times. Pray for peace in your life. I will do the same for you.....my brother!
Your words are exactly what I needed to hear. I also believe that everything happens for a reason. I believe in synchronicity. We are where we are supposed to be, and there are no coincidences in life. We often don't learn when we are driving down the street in a Cadillac with a pocket full of money. When life knocks us on our butt we usually learn exponentially.
My life could not get any more difficult than it is right now. I have to turn my will over and to believe that my higher power has a master plan for me. I can no longer live life on my terms. I have to live life on life's terms. Thanks for helping me out today!
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