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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/novelist1234
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30 Public Reviews Given
30 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
If you're telling me to review your work, get prepared for tons of constructive feedback.
I'm good at...
Being honest while giving feedback, grammar, spelling, and the structure of the writing.
Favorite Genres
I don't care as long as it's good writing.
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Fog  Open in new Window.
Review by The Writer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hey William Stafford!

As a first time reader of your short stories, I had found only one flaw. In my opinion, what can improve is how you need to express your character's thoughts without unnecessary text. For example, in "Something moved, I swear it" you can basically remove the "I swear it" and it will still make sense while improving the flow. Otherwise, you have a great short story. Keep up the good work!

Sincerely, The Writer


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2
2
Review of humidity  Open in new Window.
Review by The Writer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hey Rhyssa!

While reading through your poem, the virtues that I would consider true about this peace is how it describes humidity perfectly through every one of its lines from the start to finish. During the future, I look forward to reviewing more of your work. Keep up the great work!

Sincerely, The Writer


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3
3
Review of The Runaway  Open in new Window.
Review by The Writer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
Hey SnowyOwl!

While I was reading your poem, I noticed two flaws, which I'm going to talk about on the next sentence. In my opinion, the first flaw is how you overused the word "as" in the writing. This is because when I read it over, the word somehow interrupted the flow of the writing. My suggestion to fix this issue is for the line where it says "As the sound of dog barks followed him", instead of starting the line with "as", you can replace it with "while". The second flaw is how the very first line is irrelevant to the poem's story-line. This is because talking about how snowflakes simmered to dust has nothing to do with a criminal escaping prison. This is not really a flaw, but you can still improve your poem by reading it over to check for flow. I'm sorry for giving you soo much negative feedback, but what I really liked about this poem is the story that you chose to tell throughout the writing. In my opinion, it is very suspenseful and is attention grabbing. If there are parts of the review that you don't agree on or if you have questions, please consider sending me an email. If you have improved your poem, please notify me, since I would like to see people improve because of my advice. Keep up the great effort!

Sincerely, The Writer


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4
4
Review by The Writer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hey Carly!

As I read over your work, I had found no errors or flaws throughout the entire writing. To be honest, what I really liked about your poem is how it perfectly describes the ins and outs of friendship. Good luck on winning your contest!

Sincerely, The Writer


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5
5
Review of The Day  Open in new Window.
Review by The Writer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Dear QPdoll;

Overall, your essay is not bad. However, you could also decide to improve your essay by cutting out made-up stories, but provide more flawless reasons why you dislike Valentine's Day. For example, if you say "But if you got them all, did you reciprocate?" for your third reason, it has a flaw, which is why would you not reciprocate with adults in Halloween? If you disagree with my advice, please feel free to contact me on my notepad page.

Sincerely, The Writer
6
6
Review of LAURIE STORIES  Open in new Window.
Review by The Writer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Dear SandraLynn;

Although this seems to be a great story, I've found quite a few sentences that were either not making sense or were incomplete. For example, one segment of one of your sentences says" but unable to share for whatever reason ", which is a clear sign of an incomplete sentence. In my opinion, you should also make the memories in chronological order so that the reader can understand the timeline better. Nevertheless this is a very well-written memoir. If you still disagree with my advice, please feel free to leave me a message on my notebook. Keep up the good work!

Sincerely, The Writer


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7
7
Review by The Writer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Dear Steve Joos;

Although your overall poem is great, the only flaw that I found so far is in the second line of the last paragraph and the typo that you made. This is because there seems to be a grammatical error if you read it out loud. Nevertheless, you still did a great job!

Sincerely, The Writer


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8
8
Review by The Writer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Dear Harry;

Overall, the poem itself presents a great story and creates a feeling, however, in my opinion, the poem could be revised even further in order to improve the flow of the writing and the grammar errors that are found while I was reading the poem. You did a great job on telling a story, nevertheless.

Sincerely, The Writer


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9
9
Review by The Writer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Dear Life As We Wrote It;

Good job on writing one of your very first short stories! However, there are still several rooms for improvement. First of all, the story itself is still incomplete; it doesn't contain the problem, resolution, and ending. Second of all, write your dialogues in the way that people will actually talk, not how you think they will. Finally, check for grammar errors, since many of the word choice that you used contains many grammar errors. Keep editing this piece of writing using my advice and you'll improve.

Sincerely, The Writer



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10
10
Review by The Writer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (1.0)
Dear Vandana;

You did a great job on attempting to create a short story, however, this is not considered as being complete. Most of your work is plain dialogue so it is suggested that you extend the story. Also, by extending this piece of writing, the reader will know how jealous the two siblings are towards each other; making the reader more interested at the contents in the same time. Nevertheless, the idea itself is not bad.

Sincerely, The Writer


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11
11
Review by The Writer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dear Lizmiserables;

While I was reviewing this for you, this piece is not only very emotional, but you also had no grammar errors and everything blended very well together. However, my only question about this piece is why did you write down what you want to write in the letter instead of writing an actual letter to yourself? Nonetheless, this is a very well-written piece.

Sincerely, The Writer


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12
12
Review by The Writer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (1.0)
Dear Alexandra Ogarrio;

Just like on my previous review, the following piece is considered TOO VAGUE in order to exceed the standards of a short story. Please write a complete short story before posting it online. If you are currently working on the piece, please contact me so I can know when it will be finished.

Sincerely, The Writer


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13
13
Review by The Writer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (1.0)
Dear Alexandra Ogarrio;

You made a good start to your topic, however, the contents are too vague to create a story. In other words, there isn't enough evidence for the reader to decide whether or not it was the right choice. I encourage you to create a story to give more evidence as of what is happening in the situation.


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