What a great idea! I heard on the news awhile back about a growing group of people who call themselves "Freegans." They live almost entirely on what they find discarded in dumpsters and back alleys. I have to admit a lot of what they find is quite surprising. Many stores and restaurants throw out perfectly good, unopened food simply because it is no longer "fresh" (usually meaning it is more than a day old)
My stomach gets a bit queasy when I see them eating vegetables that they find in dumpsters but that's just me. I think we can all stand to live a little more simply and self sufficiently in this day of technological dependence. I do wonder sometimes what my family would do if our little corner of the world was "wiped off the grid" so to speak. Scientists have warned that it can and probably will happen sometime in the future and that would mean a complete collapse of our civilization. We would be thrown back into the dark ages and most of us wouldn't last a week without grocery stores or electricity.
So I say, good for you. You have re-sparked the motivation in me to find ways to be more self sufficient and It wouldn't hurt to get into better shape as well.
This article was very helpful. You have some great ideas here that I think will really help me as a writer. I appreciate you taking the time to post this :)
The lyrics are very touching and sweet. The rhythm was a bit hard to follow in spots but if it's meant to be a song, it may fit better to music. Overall a very nice poem :)
I am a big fan of the twilight zone and thought that your story would have made an interesting episode. The flow was well done and I found myself visualizing the show in my mind. Especially when the camera pans out to Rod Serling. I could actually hear him reciting those words. Just a tiny detail I noticed was when Rod says "But fear not good readers" I was under the impression that it was meant to be a tv show considering you said "Camera pans out to Rod Serling" If that's the case, I would change it to "Fear not good viewers" or "Dear Friends" or something along those lines. But that's just nit picking. Overall, I enjoyed the story and couldn't really find anything wrong with it. I hope you continue to write other "Twilight Zone" stories.
This definitely put a smile on my face. Good job! Here's how mine turned out:
We got cockroaches, we got losers
Chain smokers and boozers
And we got toes, we got bikers
We got sweaty hitchhikers
And the toothpicks next door dress up like donkeys
Hmm, hmm, hmm I love this strip club
We got popsicles, we got truckers
slimy fools and suckers
And we got hustlers, we got fighters
Early turkeys and all-nighters
And the veterans talk about their battle scars
Hmm, hmm, hmm I love this strip club
[Chorus:]
I love this strip club
It's my kind of place
Just juggling through the front door
Puts a hairy smile on my face
It ain't too far, come as you are
Hmm, hmm, hmm I love this strip club
I've seen purple grapes, we got high-techs
Blue-collar spiders and rednecks
And we got lovers, lots of lookers
And I've even seen giggling girls and hookers
And we like to drink our sewage from a crock pot
Hmm, hmm, hmm I love this strip club
Yes I do
I like my camel (I like my camel)
I like my girlfriend (I like my girlfriend)
I like to take her out to dinner
I like a dinosaur now and then
But I love this strip club
It's my kind of place
Just flying around the dance floor
Puts a big smile on my face
No cover charge, come as you are
Hmm, hmm, hmm I love this strip club
Hmm, hmm, hmm I love this strip club
Sounds like you should write the first book on Unclehood. You sound like a model uncle. I wish I had an uncle like you when I was a kid. My uncles were men who I saw a few times a year on holidays and to be honest, I don't think any of them even liked kids. In fact one of my memories is getting a verbal lashing for grabbing my uncle's hat off his head and running away with it. You I'm sure realize that the proper response for an uncle would be to chase the little munchkin around the house, finally tackling them and tickling them until they begged you to stop and promise to return the hat, of course repeating the same trick later with your shoes when you're ready to leave.
An uncle is supposed to be one of the few "big people" you can joke around and play with when you're little, who is never too busy to teach you to throw and catch a football and when you're a bit older, is there to be objective when you are so fed up with your parents that you just want to run off an join the circus and for some reason, uncles are more credible than parents when they tell you why you shouldn't take drugs or drop out of school. Uncles are also great resources for exhausted parents who are so fed up with their children that they would like to SELL them to the circus. Uncles are there to whisk the kids away for a day at the amusement park or hockey game so the parents can get themselves together and be a husband and wife for a change instead of just Mom and Dad. So anyway, it sounds like you know what you're doing and your nieces and nephews will be better people for having such an awesome uncle in their lives
I thought it was pretty good. Is there more to the story? It says its a short story but it feels like there should be more to it. It was also kind of difficult sometimes to keep track of who was speaking. I think there needs to be more description and not just dialogue.
What a great little poem! I really enjoyed it. I like your choice of words and even giggled a bit in parts. It left me smiling in the end which not many poems are able to do. Good Job!
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