Why should the thoughts of counter go astray,
while watching scrambled thoughts carouse and play,
Don't let the times gone by get in the way,
Those left-hand views let in the light of day.
Reflections from the clockwise dreams we've found,
leave passions unfulfilled as barren dust.
Have we not left a morsel to renown?
We need no praise, just resurrection's trust.
The search for love turns back the lonely clock
chasing notions here and there and when
The questions bolt the last and final lock
and shakes down all those yesterdays again
The clockwise hopes keep running down that beach.
The fears of counter keep them out of reach.
Today, I wandered into your poetry folder and found The Old Barn. Lots of memories there. Old barns tend to do that for me. I remember the huge new barn on my sister's farm, back in the 1940s. In 1984, I went back to have another look. It was not so big anymore. The rusty nails, the weathered paint, and the sagging roof were much as you described but, alas, no place to make a comment.
I went on to Short Time. Where did it all go? Is there any hope to fill the voids? Again, the "This book is empty" message.
Next stop I meet Cowboy. Here I find memories of dogs gone past. But, mostly Cowboy reminds me of my most recent pup, "Little Guy". He won't fit into a cup but, he's small and does all of those delightful things that make dogs fit into our lives so well. Here, we have a place to leave a 'review'.
Of course, it's not a review but I enjoyed all of them, And each had its own way of hitting home with me.
Today could not get any worse.
Is that key to decipher this verse?
On Saturday morn
When fates choose to warn
that his plans better take a revers
A coyote, known only as Wiley
sometimes gets away with things slyly
The needle poked sole in this tale
finds grief everywhere, without fail
and holsters pianos quite drily
No road-runner her for relief
so we're left to ponder belief
Is there something to do that's remote?
Even buttons fell off of his coat.
No mercy for this soul, just grief.
Those of us who have experienced such a loss can all identify with the perspective of this excellent verse. How many times have we seen something interesting and been overwhelmed with the thought "I've got to tell ........ about this!" followed by another round of tears when reality catches up.
As happens when determination rules
The yoyo phase flames out. My, that was brief.
It's time to smile at all those dreaming fools
dead sure that they are turning a new leaf.
But, when the growling limbo steals the show
There starts a mad dash down another track.
This time the fiddle plays a tune we know
Emotions exit to the trash out back.
When all the strength and courage ebbs away
should we now face the music? No, we ran
with broken promise lost for one more day
all hope tossed, with the wrappers, in the can.
So when we see temptation gathering round
the snake takes to the grass, where it's not found.
As one of the ancients, I felt as if you were honoring me as you honored Grannie's subtle but powerful message she left behind. Drawing me into your story so completely is an example of a reader becoming too involved to put it down.
Breath bated in suspense, we read and wait
for all the bits and snags to find their place.
The story of perfection on the slate
But nothing comes along to spoil the grace.
You’ve shown us step by step and gentle sigh,
the life-force being served; no need for hope.
Your muse has stirred our souls and we see why,
how God laid down the path, so we can cope.
You've grabbed my muse and shook him to the core
with thoughts of bats and owls and other things
Enchanted power smiles and gives us more.
What is that other one, the one that sings?
But, even at the midnight hour's stroke
No hesitation holds a moment's sway.
There moves the blur of comedy to cloak
the thought of hummingbirds in night-time play
Now is it true denouement at the end
or do we hold the line by just a thread?
We watch bees, as they sneak past the bend
and though the moonlight fades, it is not dead
While laugh lines give a little sweet relief,
We're caught by this one's message, although brief.
From a guy's point of view, I understand completely. It is something every woman we encounter demands. She says that we must do things her way and let her do things her way. And in addition, the guy must tolerate whatever outrageous behavior she wants to engage in.
Thank you for showing us this large chunk of Chapter 4 of your book, which you assure us is coming later this year.
Those of us who were fortunate enough to miss out on the Job Corp learned a bit about the folly of government programs, whose planners think they know everything and are insistent on using their superior thinking power to plan everything for everyone.
I appreciate the effort you had to put forth to build this large chunk.
There is always an interesting twist to these flash yarns of yours. This one gives us a particularly meaningful image. The next segment of your character's day is going to be worthy of another flash. I wonder what we'll learn in the twist that wraps it up. Will it be that Mom actually left Dad?
Hi, Sandy Davison. How are you? I ran out of things to do this morning and remembered that I haven't talked with you in a while. So I decided to go through your blog and see if I could muck it up.
Good point. But I think that no one should have a cell phone. We should all be forced to go back to land lines of the party line sort like you mentioned. The phone booth on the corner worked just fine. Now, I can't even answer (or know that I should) when I hear one of the various ring tones go off. Is it a text? Is it Uncle Charly, or it someone wanting to save me from my expired car warrantee?
Thank you for your list of possible reactions to shots. Now I know why I can't remember when I put my keys. It must have been that tetanus shot when I was sixteen. Damn! I wonder if I can have it removed? Or, maybe now I can have an unshot for tetanus.
No nits to be picked with this piece
comparisons though gotta cease
If we trust another to say
what is good at the end of the day
Our own self-respect may decrease
As always quick judgments are flawed
The choosers have scratched and they’ve clawed
A good one is lost
at very great cost
a practice that should be outlawed
At times, when reading in a perspective 0pther than our own, we find some of the most powerful and meaningful lines in all of literature. In this piece, we find "And most of all, I will be grateful and thankful and relieved that there is someone with you who can."
Thank you for sharing that jealousy busting perspective.
I want some of that old-age medication. I may not prevent old age but it's clear that it helps one's hearing. He hears so well that he can hear sounds that don't even exist. You have quite a story here. Although, I don't think I want to join them with bricks falling all around them.
It isn’t very often that we see
A horror story on such solid ground
In it, you've found a way to show that we
can be swept up by what is all around.
You point to Molly's issues as if real,
and feeble as the soil beneath our feet.
The demons you describe attack with zeal
and even desecrate her last retreat.
Some claim we’ve ruined the world with such rough stuff,
But don’t believe a bit of it is true.
For all the terror, wrought is not enough,
to shake the solid tale in what you do.
Dialogue alone, as lines are said,
Convinced us all that Momma, is now dead.
There are valid reasons, I hear,
for Juneteenth to garner a cheer.
An end to a time which is dead;
reminders of it we now dread,
and for some, it can bring forth a tear.
But, Juneteenth is special to me
and Mom; it's my birthday, you see.
She suffered the pain;
I amassed all the gain
and I started out life being free
I feel inspired to write something meaningful in response to such words of wisdom. Is it Biblical? Perhaps I can work up the energy to compose a sonnet for each of your
Quotes and Words of Wisdom posts. That would be quite an accomplishment but, well worth the effort.
Reading this segment a second time, I've seen even more potential than I did the first time 'round. Both Cecily and Lillia are developing into very interesting characters. They each have the possibility to provide threads of action independently and take the story to new paths.
What a story to tell, in under three hundred words. You let the situation build and yet you showed the progression of Alzheimer’s disease enough detail to make the story plausible and bring us to a tear as Carla is faced with the toughest decision any of us will have to make.
Nicely done.
Norbanus
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/norbanus/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/3
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.62 seconds at 7:38am on Jul 09, 2025 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
