I love it! Your poem is raw and intense, with themes of devotion and surrender. Your declaration of willingness to be completely overtaken, whether it leads to salvation or destruction, speaks of an obsessive love. The stark imagery reveals an incomplete feeling without your beloved.
The loose structure gives it a stream-of-consciousness feel, and the repetition of "consume" and the direct address "my darling" make it personal and urgent, heavy melodrama.
Your poetic declaration captures the paradox of love as both liberating and annihilating. It's not subtle; it's honest. I like honesty and reality in a poet's work.
I like the way you think; with a little spit and polish, your poem can be even better. Thank you for sharing!
I like it. It's a compelling and emotionally resonant piece of heartache that effectively captures and reveals your regret. It's raw, vivid, and memorable with good bones. It's a good start, and it could be great with a little streamlining, rhythm tightening, and polish!
Hi,
Saturday Morning is a somber piece that made me think deeply about the Apostles' condition after the crucifixion. I can only imagine what it must have been like for them. Even having foreknowledge of what was going to happen, there was still the matter of many of the people wanting to kill them for who they were and who they represented. Three days can be long when you are constantly tasked with survival. You did a fine job!
—Noisy Wren
I loved your piece "Evolutionary Engineering." The back-and-forth with your dad added a warm, personal touch. Your work got me thinking about faith and how it requires us to embrace unseen realities—something many struggle with. I believe some turn to atheism or humanism, seeing humanity as the pinnacle and tying themselves to the material world, which lacks lasting power. To me, this echoes the rebellion in the Garden, where the Adversary's deception led people astray. If only more placed their trust in our Creator rather than the creature! Thanks for sparking such deep reflection.
—Noisy Wren
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