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Review by noclue Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
What a powerful piece of writing! You truly have a gift!

The only advice I have is that you should develop the character of Manoj more. Show us that he is a thug, rather than telling us.
Also, I notice that you sometimes use the dialect of the people you are writing about, and then sometimes you use american dialect. I think the story would be more authentic if you stuck to the indian dialect.
an example would be this sentence...
compromising, compromising, compromising, why must we always have to compromise.

I thought it should go maybe like this...(just a suggestion) compromising, compromising, compromising, why must we always be compromising?

overall you story is very powerful. great job!!
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