I can't say I loved it, but I can't say I hated it either, so I'm going to say that I liked it. You started out great but when you started into the second I was slightly disappointed. It's almost like you were saying the exact same thing as you did in the first paragraph only you used different words. It was nice though :).
It was actually pretty good to be honest but you should probably cut back on all ands, maybe add a little more punctuation too to break up some of the sentences it makes it easier to read. Overall good work, keep it up :).
All in all I thought it was really good especially considering the fact that it was your first. A little constructive criticism though, you should try using more punctuation so your sentences flow more :).
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/nikiw
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.06 seconds at 3:25am on Nov 27, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
