This was well written. I did notice a few spelling errors and typos. Just little things really.
bBirthday
unexpectively -- I believe you wanted unexpectedly?
karl should be capitalized
"The mud was so deep, I could not even see a footprint was horrified," I didn't quite understand this sentance...
worm - usually when you're talking about getting rid of worms from an animal, it's deworming.
"This keeps the horse unbalanced enough for letting the blacksmith tie one of the other feet." It looks like two sentances more. "This keeps the horse unbalanced enough to let the blacksmith work, by tying up one of the other feet"
"Hard, her son," In the next paragraph he's refered to as Hardy.
very last line - Birthay
There were a few more, but I figured this is enough. =) Good story though. Saving animals is one of the best feelings and things to do.
I like how each line of this poem begins with the same words. And how this poem is gentle as a whisper would be. I can definitely imagine these words being whispered, to a baby as a prayer for their life, or to someone who needs comfort in a difficult time.
I really love this poem. The lines flow really well and they describe a type of guy who is quite common, in my experience. I wasn't sure, with the following weather it was "your secrets" or not. Was it supposed to be your secrets before anyone else betray? If it wasn't supposed to be that, I apologize.
'And tell you secrets I wouldn’t dare
Before anyone else betray. '
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/nightrogue
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 9:48pm on Nov 08, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
My review has been submitted for consideration in "