What you wrote in BLACK
Suggestions in BLUE
Things I like in ORANGE
Static comments in GREEN(It may be a suggestion. It may not. Usually applies to just my thoughts but is not necessarily a hard and fast grammar rule. Also just random comments that don't fit in the other two colors.)
 I do not claim to be a professional. I am working toward being a published author. I have been writing for 16 years and have learned a lot though I am STILL learning. I will be courteous but honest. With that said, here is my review:
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When they had left they could see a slender thread of smoke coming from the entrance. There was no sign of smoke... This confuses me. They saw smoke and didn't see smoke? did you mean: When they had left they could see a slender thread of smoke coming from the entrance. BUT NOW there was no sign of smoke...?
He could not have left on his own and had apparently been abducted without his consent... this is certainly a lot to assume. He could, in all reality, gone willingly. How does she know?
bitter tears frosting up on her cheeks... a good line.
"You speak, Mighty Dragon," she humbly said. “How can I hear your words without hearing you?... according to your first chapters, she has been with this dragon 2 years or so? And she is JUST NOW figuring out he can speak? Odd.
cat got your tongue?"... it is generally better not to have any modern cliche's in a made up story. You can, however, create your own cliches that your characters may use. Doing this will help define a more detailed society for your characters to. Instead, you could say something like, "What's the matter, the Reaper chopped off your tongue?" and the Reaper could be a fictional symbol for your characters that they use to scar children, as an example.
most of the females are not only scaredy cats, many are as dumb as a bag of rocks... I would think Analia might take offense at this.
“Why have you not communicated to me or other humans before now?”... aha! HERE is my answer. You might want to allude to the fact before this line that him speaking to her was an oddity, like: A thought from the dragon entered her mind. She was shocked at first, BECAUSE, DESPITE KNOWING THE DRAGON FOR THIS LONG, SHE WAS NOT AWARE THE DRAGON COULD COMMUNICATE. Or something like that. Obviously you will do a better job than I did.
"let's haul ass,"... I would suggest developing some sort of "dragon dialect" that separates how the dragon speaks from how humans speaks just to give your character's different layers and a unique distinction that separates them. Such as, as you will find when you read further into The Last Wizard, my wizard speaks a form of Old English throughout the entire book, so even when he is speaking and I don't use any speech tags, you still know it is him.
She decided against taking the heavy chain mail, after all, she had no plans of going into battle... the very reason you prepare for battle is because you don't expect it. Now I'm certain she's going to battle. Because she's not expecting it.
“Whiff, it’s my private thoughts you’re reading!” Analia angrily stated... no need for you to state that she said this angrily. I understood as much from the dialogue by itself.
analiticary... I googled this word and could not find a definition 
“Shall we go hunting for cabbages and kings?” she asked... I like this line.
They soon landed in a cleared field mostly hidden by a copse of thick evergreens... so is this a "cleared field" or is it "mostly hidden by a copse of trees"?
knew her system could tolerate it... I think the word "stomach" instead of "system" fits better with the setting of your story.
“While you were in the village looking for a medicine man, I filled my gut to the brim. I am particularly fond of cabbage, it’s my favorite food.”... so dragon teeth would not be pointed, but flat so they could chew the fruits and vegetables?
I’ve often had the urge to join them, and would have soon done so had you not suddenly showed up.”... why would her showing up make a difference to his decision to join his family? Why was he even in the rook in the first place?
Before Whiff could finish his thought, the buzzing sound of crossbow bolts sizzled in the cold air around them... I like this line. I especially like the use of your word "sizzled."
They’re shooting at us!” Analia yelled.
“How’d you guess?” Whiff sarcastically thought. “You think maybe... you don't always need speech tags. As long as it is clear who is talking, then you don't need one. I think these lines read smoother and hold more tension without speech tags. The use of an exclamation mark already constitutes that the line was yelled, so saying she yelled is repetitive. Try this:
They’re shooting at us!”
“How’d you guess? You think maybe..."
Before Analia could form a questioning reply... to me this says, "before she could ask a question," and that strikes me as odd. Why would she need to ask a question?
The nearest riders had pulled composite bows from their saddle sheaths and drawn them to the hilt... compound bows? Do your characters have the technology for this kind of bow? Totally fine if they do, it's just that right now I'm in "Medieval Setting" mode and so to see a compound bow is kind of a shock to me and doesn't feel right. Once you get the setting established in the beginning, then this issue for me will go away. Also, I shoot a bow and I don't know what "drawing them to the hilt" means. Maybe they pulled back and anchored the string against their cheek?
“Don’t do anything stupid, Little Lady,”... I wasn't aware she was going to do anything stupid. I don't even think she could, being weaponless and in the air, minus throwing herself from the saddle, but I doubt she was considering that.
especially since you left your chainmail back in the cave... I called it!
I usually roast their feathers off but I can’t take the chance with you unarmored.”... how would him doing that effect her? As long as she stays behind his fire I would assume she would be okay.
Dragon wasn’t exactly the name that was used, but the mental picture was clear and it was not a flattering one... nice line.
I like the dialogue between the Valkri, Wiff, and Analia. However, while this is going down, aren't their female riders still holding arrows on Analia? I'm certain their arms are getting tired.
he giant bird thought for a moment and decided that the human could not pronounce the name it shared with its companions... this crosses out of Analia's POV. Better to say this part in the bird's dialogue.
She sensed that she was to be treated with the utmost honor and respect... how exactly does she "sense" this? Be careful with mind-speak and being able to read thoughts. Too often that becomes an easy excuse for writers and encourages a sort of laziness for thinking of something better. I just reviewed a novel where this group of people could read people's minds across miles and communicate with each other, too. Not only is it not really creative, it also lacks the romance of the struggle for communicating with others. However, I think you are doing a better job at the mind-speak than this other writer. I just wanted to give out a friendly warning for not using this mind-speak as a crutch because it's easier.
Their riders glanced at each other in fear and unease, completely unaware of what had transpired.
For several hours they continued on in a northeasterly direction... so the knights shoot fire arrows into the sky and the birds are summoned. They appear threatening, with the riders pointing arrows at the dragon and Analia. The birds, Wiff, and Analia have a pleasant conversation. And then the birds disappear while Wiff flies onward. Where did the birds go? Why did the knights summon the birds in the first place?
the city grew into a large metropolis... the way this is worded makes it sound like the city is growing before her eyes, like a flower.
Good description of the city and the surrounding areas.
Corner towers were built every fifty meters with battlements running in between and the castle itself extended for a good square kilometer... when you start putting measurements into description, it slows down the flow. Consider this: Towers were erected every so often along the battlements and the castle itself extended as if to cover the surface of a lake. Unless the exact measurements have some plot purpose, then don't mention them. I, for one, use feet and miles in my every day life so I have no concept of how big a kilometer is. But I do have a good idea how big a lake is, which is why I used that.
Good description of the castle otherwise.
It was to this area the flight squadron made its way... what flight squadron?
They glided slowly into the buildings and landed on a small interior field covered with sand. As each of the female warriors dismounted, their mounts flew off to perches build along one side of the interior...oh! Found the birds. I know I could go back and erase my first question about where they went, but I left it so you could see what readers are going to see and question at the moment. The less questions readers have the better. But now I don't know why Wiff needed an escort. Why were they taken to this place?
Look at the following:
I am not an analiticary OR great thinker (try: I am not a great thinker)
No dragon that I know OR heard of has ever (try: I've never heard of a dragon who has ever...)
Looks like an entire troop OR possibly a full squadron (try: looks like a full squadron)
I did not ask for your unwelcomed opinion OR interference (try: I did not ask for your unwelcomed interference)
A troop of men-at-arms OR housecarls (try: houscarls)
For all of these, there was no need to provide me with two options. Just pick one and be fearless with it 
“Don’t do anything stupid, Whiff,”... haha! Back on him!
The odds here are definitely not in my favor... now knowing the birds escorted them to this place, and since Wiff is bigger than them - I think - and he can blow fire, why didn't he try to escape?
Be certain to pay the proper respects and courtesies.”... Analia is a farm girl. Is she going to know how to do those?
A billowing cape of red crimson on the outside... I know "billowing cap" looks cool and regal, but they are inside a building and "billowing" suggests the wind is blowing it about.
His crown of sandy white hair indicated that he was elderly, but the smooth skin of his face and hands stipulated otherwise... a better word to use instead might be "belie": His crown of sandy white hair indicated that he was elderly, but the smooth skin of his face and hands belied otherwise.
“Did he say Your Imperial Highness?” she muttered to herself... haha! Nice end to the chapter.
FINAL COMMENT: I know I give out a lot of suggestions for something as simple as a line, but don't let that scare you. I tend to blabber nonsense sometimes. I am enjoying how your story is moving on at a nice pace with plenty of new developments and surprises.
 Thank you for letting me read your writing. I love to read fellow writers so I can continue to learn and impart what I have learned. However, it is totally up to you if you take or leave my advice, because the only one who can write your story is you. But most important... NEVER STOP WRITING!
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