I couldn’t stop reading. The pace was perfect, and I love your choice of words. I like how the tensions slowly grows throughout the story and climaxes with murder. So thrilling! And I really liked how The narrator presents the different red and green objects at different points in the story to keep things centered and flowing nicely. It also seemed to build tension for me.
I love how the structure and language are so simple, but evokes a lot of warm feelings. I like the line "triple white chocolate", because- how can someone read that and NOT get a small kick of dopamine? I also had never heard of this poem structure before. Maybe I'll try my hand at a few of these.
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