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Review of Aerials  Open in new Window.
Review by Nathan Webster Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
What's here is interesting and makes me want to know more about the events that led up to this point. Is this just one entry in a longer story? Also, I would suggest breaking up the story into multiple paragraphs. Paragraphs as long as this one are generally a grammatical no-no and doesn't give the reader's eye a "flow" to follow...it's just a big chunk of text. Also, the switch between third-person and first-person is a risky one. Is the narrator The Hunchback. If so, why does the narrative switch between third- and first-person? It was very confusing for me. Keep writing!
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