Hi, The FunHouse was an excellent read. It had a thrilling suspense that led to the open ending of the story. The characterization based on the narrator's thoughts and feelings are very well presented. The fact that the narrator contemplates that this might in fact be a counter-trick on him by his friends gives the reader a little hope as to the fates of Johnny and Becky. Superb short story. Well done (:
The concept of your is original. It appears to have been played on a well based idea. However, it only comes across as a structure for a good essay/story. You can make it a rich, splendid story by enhancing and adding to it. Improve on the structure you have already drawn up for yourself. Use it as a guide to your new and improved piece. Also, try and brush up on your grammar. Good grammar is very important. Also, try to re-read your article before publishing. That helps too. :) Good Luck!
Well, you see this text helps one to see the world through the eyes of a jerk, who basically, is a coward who pretends to be 'it'. This shows us that although we rule them all as jerks, not quite noticing that maybe, just maybe they don't particularly like who they are either, but are forced by their previous actions and society to behave in a certain way. i liked it very much. keep up the good work. :)
This is an interesting piece, but i'm afraid I find it a bit of a drag. I like the concept, but there's something vital that i feel is missing. Maybe a little bit more action with dialogue and less description would help. The language itself is nice. You could try to convey the message of the description through a bit of action and dialogue or try and bring it out later on in the story where it may be more appropriate. It is otherwise a great piece of literary art! :)
To me, this sounds like a soldier who died at war. not just any soldier, he was your best friend. i know what it is like to lose your best friend and it is far from pleasant. Although your grammar can do with a bit of improvement, your poem is a very good one. You have been able to describe as best you can of what it feels like to lose a part of you. Also remember, all poems don't have to rhyme. you can write blank verse poetry also, which does not require a rhyming pattern for your verses. i hope this review has been helpful to you. i know this is not much, but i want you to know that i am very sorry for your loss.
hehehehe, i absolutely could not stop laughing. i'm sorry if it wasn't supposed to be funny, but it made me laugh. however did you come up with all that? that was one truly entertaining piece. it does give us an idea of the inventor of primary schools too. good one! :)
this is something most people fail to realise and eventually end up ignoring it. the fact that you have used simple language to describe something of such grave nature also adds to the beauty of the poem. i hope your life as a writer changes for the better, if ever it changes, and please keep writing no matter what, because this is something that contributes to life itself in so many ways. :) keep up the good work!
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