A simply positive review!
Initial Thoughts:From what I gather, you want grammar and punctuation corrected, so I'll go through and point out any I see.
Conclusion: This is the best way for me to do it I think. I'll copy and paste what you have and go through like that.
"Wake up! What's the matter with him? (Should this be what's the matter with you?) I said 'wake up'!"
"I can'd ged oud of bed. I hab a code."
"There's work to be done! Upsadaisy!"
"Don'd tage da bladkeds off lige dat. Id's code."
"Well(comma after well) we're in the North Pole. What did you expect? Florida? And where's your tissue? If he hasn't gone back to sleep! Ever since he was a wee lad, he would just go back to sleep."(not sure what you mean here. It doesn't make sense to me. Is she still talking to him?)
Mrs. Claus tut-tutted and strode out of Santa's room. For those of you who aren't Santa Claus's Mom, let me tell you, it's a tough job, especially when it's Christmas Eve (comma) and your son refuses to get going. The only thing you can do is to take over yourself.
Which is what Mrs. Claus did.
She began by searching for Santa's mobile phone. It always turned up in the most unexpected places. This time, she located in (it) in the drawer marked 'scraps of wrapping paper too pretty to throw but too small to use' (I normally use italics for this type of sentence, but that's up to you!). Why hadn't that son of hers thought of using them as gift-tags, for goodness' sake? Anyway, the mobile.
"Hmmmm. Let me see. 'R--u--d'. No matches? Bless him if he hasn't stored all of them under 'reindeer'. Okay. 'Reindeer, Rudolph'. Hallo? Rudolph? Your boss has gone back to sleep, so we have to get this thing done. Just round up the others and get over here, pronto."
"Yes, Ma'am."
"I'll get Kiya Sama and her angels to help load the sleigh. You don't need someone to actually steer, do you? Not that my son was very good at that anyway."
Rudolph permitted himself a small chuckle. "Doesn't have a very good sense of direction, does he?"
"He'd go up the chimney instead of down, if it weren't for gravity. Okay, I'll call Kiya. Get the reindeer here ASAP. Hmmmm. 'Kiya'. Bless him, why can't he store numbers normally, like anyone else? Okay. 'WDC, Kiya'. Kiya? Can you grab some of your angels and help load the sleigh? No, no. He has gone back to sleep, so Rudolph's handling it. What? What's that? Elle? I know, I know. She runs that Snail Mail thing of yours, at WDC. Probably has a better sense of direction than my son. Okay, yes, she can steer the sleigh tonight. Bring her. Bring them all. I'll make soup. Yes, I know StoryMistress is vegetarian, I'll make vegetable soup. Now don't stand there talking about soup, my dear girl. Grab your angels and get here pip pip. Dress warm."
Mrs. Claus muttered under her breath as she chopped tomatoes, peeled potatoes, grated some carrots and bunged in beets. When the soup was nicely boiling, she went to the clothes-closet. "He has put on weight, that son of mine. It'll be too big for Elle by miles. Nice petite little thing she is, too. Hmmmm. A tuck here, a fold there ..." She carried the suit to her room, got her sewing kit and went to work.
As she held the suit at arm's length to admire it, the doorbell rang. She had hardly turned the doorknob when the whole Angel Army was around her, laughing, hugging, yelling, "Merry Christmas!" And, of course, Sapph yelled, "I smell soup!"
"Leave some for that son of mine!" she admonished. "Bless him, sleeping through all this shouting. There's whole-wheat bread on the shelf there and some cheese somewhere ..."
The angels nicely fed, they got to work checking the nice list and making sure all the gifts tallied up. The reindeer were at the door, the sleigh was being loaded. "Have you had something to eat?" Mrs. Claus asked Rudolph.
"We'll eat when we're done. We don't like to deliver gifts on a full tummy."
"Okay, while you're loading up, I'll get Elle to try on the suit."
She steered Elle to the bedroom and helped her in to the suit. "Perfect," was the verdict.
As Elle was about to join the others, Mrs. Claus's manner suddenly became furtive.
"Er, Elle, my dear," she said.
"Yes?" Elle replied, surprised.
"I wonder if you could do me a tiny favour. I mean, I don't discount this big favour you're doing already, but another one."
"Sure, anything."
Mrs. Claus beckoned mysteriously. Elle followed, puzzled. They went to the big desk in the corner of the room and Mrs. Claus opened the last drawer.
"See," she whispered."My great-nephew, Andrew, he got himself put on the naughty list this year. Got the pup to knock the tree down on purpose. But he'll be heartbroken if he doesn't get his bubblegum, and I'd bought it for him already. You'll be going down that chimney anyway, to deliver gifts to his twin, Steve. Just put this under Andrew's pillow, won't you, there's a good girl? They won't have put a stocking for him. That's punishment enough. He's a good lad, just playful, sometimes."
"Sure," Elle replied, grinning.
"And mum's the word. Yes, yes, we're coming. Had to alter the suit a bit. Elle is thinner than I thought she was!" Winking at Elle, Santa's Mom led the way outside, where the sleigh stood in all its splendour, fully loaded, with Rudolph and team ready to go.
The angels cheered as Elle climbed on. "Merry Christmas to all!" she called, as the sleigh rose in to the air.
"Merry Christmas!" they yelled back, and watched the sleigh till it became a little dot in the sky.
"Mom!" a voice called from inside.
"There's some soup left for you, son. Wait, wait, I'm coming to heat it up. How are you feeling? Cold all better?"
She trotted back in to the house, only pausing at the threshold to give the angels a wave and a quick 'thank you'. She had a son to pamper.
I loved this. It was so cute!! That's all I noticed, but if I misinterpreted, please let me know or discard my comments!!!
Write on!!
Mare ~ extended hiatus
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