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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/msromoski71
Review Requests: OFF
371 Public Reviews Given
374 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I will provide constructive criticism and praise whenever necessary. I will always review with a positive message. There's no room for rude comments or feedback in my reviews.
I'm good at...
In-depth reviews
Favorite Genres
Fantasy, Sci-fi, Romance and Horror
Least Favorite Genres
Poetry, children's, music
Favorite Item Types
Flash fiction, short stories, non-fiction especially animals, folklore/romance
Least Favorite Item Types
Business
I will not review...
Internet/Web
Public Reviews
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1
1
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Castle* A review from "Game of ThronesOpen in new Window., the Witch's House, and the White Walkers! *Castle*


*CastleLeft* Oh, my. I'm not sure where to begin. I did not expect the letter to take that turn. *CastleRight*

*CastleLeft* I always wondered what it was like for military couples to be away from each other. How do you deal with your spouse being away? And not just away, but at war or in a dangerous place.

Your words tugged at my heart. I can't imagine what you felt the day you found out about his death. That just blows me away. How did you cope? Even if it's something that you think you may be ready for, I would assume that you never really can prepare for that. He must have really loved this country. I admire what he stood for.

When you noted his day of birth and date of death, I realized just how young he was. 23 years in the military is a lot, but he was still too young. Not even 50 years old....

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your letter was written so beautifully and from the heart. It's so true that you could care less about all of the visitors and condolences. You just want him. That really touched my heart as well. I do wish you and your family well as you continue your life without him. But, he is watching over you and is always with you!
*CastleRight*

Please understand that my review is just one voice among many points of view. Take what you think will help you and leave the rest. Thank you for allowing me to read your work!

Write on!!


If you liked my review, please consider heading to "Game of ThronesOpen in new Window. and posting a few cheers for The White Walkers. Thank you!

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
2
2
Review of The Winner  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Castle* A review from "Game of ThronesOpen in new Window., the Witch's House, and the White Walkers! *Castle*


*CastleLeft* Hey there! Welcome to WdC! If you love to write, this is the place to be! *CastleRight*

*CastleLeft* I found this story while looking for Western genre pieces.
I have to say that I never thought about writing a story around a cowboy and bullriding! Very interesting in and of itself. Your story was easy to understand with good flow. I did notice some grammar errors, however. Grammar, of course, is important, but the story will never be good unless you can get a clear point across. You did achieve this even with the errors. Try using Grammarly when writing. It's a great tool that will highlight spelling and punctuation errors as you write. Commas and correct possessives are vital to the understanding of a story. Without commas, sentences can sound like incoherent ramblings. Just a little tip there for you.

Here's an example: Just as soon as the bull kicked left it planted it's hooves into the dirt and flung it's hind end high into the air.This sentence should be written as the following: Just as soon as the bull kicked left, it planted its hooves into the dirt and flung its hind end high into the air. You made what should have been a possessive into a contraction which changes the entire meaning of the sentence.

Aside from all of that, I really enjoyed learning about rodeos. You tell a very compelling story! Great job!
*CastleRight*

Please understand that my review is just one voice among many points of view. Take what you think will help you and leave the rest. Thank you for allowing me to read your work!

Write on!!


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
3
3
Review of The Sun Also Sets  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+
*Castle* A review from "Game of ThronesOpen in new Window., the Witch's House, and the White Walkers! *Castle*


*CastleLeft* You are a lover of all things cows/bulls etc. that's for sure! *CastleRight*

*CastleLeft* Your idea for this short story is brilliant. Who ever thinks of going back in time with a bull no less. I love the idea of the purpose of the time travel - to influence a legendary author.

The story was extremely well written. I was able to put myself in the mind of the bull who felt slighted by history and how bulls were portrayed. The idea of being able to talk with and understand an animal, regardless of which, always fascinates me. I wish it was something that we could do for real. Imagine being able to talk to your pet in times of sickness. We'd be able to know exactly how they felt or if they're in pain or if they're happy.

I usually call myself the grammar nazi. Any grammatical errors just jump out at me! Your grammar is impeccable! But, grammar is never the most important thing in a well written story. It's the originality of the topic and how it's relayed to the readers. Yours was a pleasure to read. It immediately grabbed my attention from the beginning, something all writers strive for. If you can't get the audience's attention immediately, chances are they will not get past the first few sentences! At least that's how it is for me! Great story!
*CastleRight*

Please understand that my review is just one voice among many points of view. Take what you think will help you and leave the rest. Thank you for allowing me to read your work!

Write on!!


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
4
4
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*RainbowL* A review from the WdC Angel Army! *RainbowR*


*Angel* I love the premise of this story. I would lean towards making this a prelude or prologue. It makes sense by the way you've written it. *Angel*

*Angel* There were many grammatical errors. However, grammar can be perfect in a story but wouldn't mean anything if the story was horrible. I can tell that you have a gift for writing. After just a few sentences, I wanted to read more. You pulled me into the story, and that's very hard to achieve. If you can't grab the reader's attention by just a few sentences, what's the point?

You do this very well. As I said, I love the plot of this story. I'm so curious to know how he got to the throne. But, that's a good thing. You want your readers to HAVE to know what happens next! You are well on your way with a beautiful start.

However, you need to fix those errors because some of the sentences were difficult to read. A few run-on sentences and punctuation were off. There is an app called Grammarly that's very helpful. Believe me, it's helped me learn where my weak areas were. It's vital that people understand where a sentence starts and stops. In other words, some of the errors made it difficult to read, and you won't be getting your point across.

Here's an example:
Home died and was buried with my mother, and few places have truly felt like home since.

Punctuation and the ensuing subject and predicate doesn't sound right. I understood what you meant, but you may want to rephrase it for better understanding.

Being with my mother was my home, and it died after I buried her. Very few places felt like home since then.

This is just an example of how you could rephrase it to make it grammatically correct and understood.

That aside, you have the talent required to finish this piece. I truly feel that way. Please continue to work on it, and I'd love to read anything you add.
Great job!*Angel*

Please understand that my review is just one voice among many points of view. Take what you think will help you and leave the rest. Thank you for allowing me to read your work!

Write on!!


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
5
5
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*RainbowL* A review from the WdC Angel Army! *RainbowR*


*Angel* This short snippet was very compelling causing me to read to the end. *Angel*

*Angel* I love the mystery of it all. It makes me want more. You do a very good job at pulling people in. Kind of like a book you start to read but then can't put it down!! Fiction writers always amaze me, because I am not a fiction writer but I love to read it. It shows what real creativity is. I hope you will finish this and allow me to read the rest. I don't see many grammatical errors if any. You are on your way to an excellent start. Great job! *Angel*

Please understand that my review is just one voice among many points of view. Take what you think will help you and leave the rest. Thank you for allowing me to read your work!

Write on!!


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
6
6
Review of Unfinished  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*FlowerP* ~A Rising Star's M2M Review~ *FlowerP*


*FlowerP* Initial Thoughts: I love anything related to addiction. *FlowerP*

*FlowerP* Conclusion: The words of the poem ring true for any addict. You have to really understand the underlying meaning of the words, which I did. Addiction is such a horrible fate and disease. I can relate very well to this. Great job! *FlowerP*


Please understand that my review is just one voice among many points of view. Take what you think will help you and leave the rest. Thank you for allowing me to read your work!

Write on!!

Mare ~ extended hiatus Author IconMail Icon

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
7
7
Rated: E | (4.0)
*FlowerP* ~A Rising Star's M2M Review~ *FlowerP*


*FlowerP* Initial Thoughts: I love everything about Henry VIII. Why? Because he was a scum!! *FlowerP*

*FlowerP* Conclusion: But, seriously, you got all of the facts correct. The poem really is a summarization of who he was. Poor Katharine. I saw the move Anne Boleyn and ever since I was fascinated by him. But, I certainly didn't admire him! I'm not very good at poems and structures, but you seemed to have gotten your point across. Not an easy subject either, but you did very well! *FlowerP*


Please understand that my review is just one voice among many points of view. Take what you think will help you and leave the rest. Thank you for allowing me to read your work!

Write on!!

Mare ~ extended hiatus Author IconMail Icon

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
8
8
Review of did he sleep?  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
*FlowerP* ~A Rising Star's M2M Review~ *FlowerP*


*FlowerP* Initial Thoughts: Please know that this review is my opinion and perspective only! *FlowerP*

*FlowerP* Conclusion: I couldn't follow the premise of the story at all. Who was he speaking to? What were the plot and characters? The writing confused me to the point where I had no idea what I was reading or where the story was going. Actually, I didn't find it to be a story. It was more like one run-on sentence without meaning. I do not say this unkindly at all. Please know that. I would never be rude, but if I'm going to help, my words need to be honest and constructive. Maybe if you gave a bit of background and separated into paragraphs would help. Utilize the vast resources available here on Wdc. They help tremendously. I, myself, have become a better writer because of them and the reviews I received. That is my hope for you. Best wishes and feel free to contact me anytime! *FlowerP*


Please understand that my review is just one voice among many points of view. Take what you think will help you and leave the rest. Thank you for allowing me to read your work!

Write on!!

Mare ~ extended hiatus Author IconMail Icon

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
9
9
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*FlowerP* ~A Rising Star's M2M Review~ *FlowerP*


*FlowerP* Initial Thoughts: This is a beautiful sentiment. *FlowerP*

*FlowerP* Conclusion: The grammar needs to be cleaned up a bit, but the feeling the story gives is one of satisfaction. I think it would be a good idea to speak a little about what happened to her mom and why the box was buried there, to begin with. Nobody knows why and the reader will wonder about it. The reader should always walk away with some type of closure to the book. She did find closure, but again, why? These are questions that should be answered to draw in the reader more. I want to know myself. If you do expand on this, I'd love to read the revised edition! Contact me anytime! *FlowerP*


Please understand that my review is just one voice among many points of view. Take what you think will help you and leave the rest. Thank you for allowing me to read your work!

Write on!!

Mare ~ extended hiatus Author IconMail Icon

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
10
10
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
*FlowerP* ~A Rising Star's M2M Review~ *FlowerP*


*FlowerP* Initial Thoughts: I found the title of this poem interesting do I decided to read it. *FlowerP*

*FlowerP* Conclusion: I don't pretend to understand poetry very well. I'm a nonfiction writer, so this will not be about structure. I have read many poems from this site, though. I'm not sure I follow what you were getting at here. It's not a style that I've read before. It seemed to be a bit redundant as well. I've written poems about dreams. It wasn't like this, however. But, please take this review with a grain of salt. As I've stated, I'm not a poet but have seen my fair share.

The poem didn't seem to follow any structure that I'm aware of, nor did it seem to flow well. I would love to know what your thoughts were when writing this. What were you trying to relay to your readers? Feel free to contact me anytime!
*FlowerP*


Please understand that my review is just one voice among many points of view. Take what you think will help you and leave the rest. Thank you for allowing me to read your work!

Write on!!

Mare ~ extended hiatus Author IconMail Icon

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
11
11
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*FlowerP* ~A Rising Star's M2M Review~ *FlowerP*


*FlowerP* Initial Thoughts: The title and description caught my eye, and I had to read on to find out more of this story. *FlowerP*

*FlowerP* Conclusion: I published a memoir of mine, and this type of writing reminds me of a memoir type piece. I wonder, is this true or fiction? Whatever it is, you've done a great job describing your surroundings and showing rather than telling. Something we all have difficulty with. I would love to know if this is the start of a collection. Do you plan to expand on this at all? I have so many questions. What were her reasons for going back? What did she plan to do?

There were some grammatical errors but not many. I don't focus too much on that but rather how the story affects me emotionally. I loved your statement "home is where the heart is". We'd all like to believe that is true, but unfortunately, it's not as you've described. My memoir is about family and greed and abuse so I can relate. Good job on this well written story. I'd love to see you expand on this story!
*FlowerP*


Please understand that my review is just one voice among many points of view. Take what you think will help you and leave the rest. Thank you for allowing me to read your work!

Write on!!

Mare ~ extended hiatus Author IconMail Icon

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
12
12
Review of David's Farewell  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*RainbowL* A review from the WdC Angel Army! *RainbowR*


*Angel* What a beautiful description.*Angel*

*Angel* It's funny how we know we're in a dream. I had the same experience. Your husband came to visit you. Why now, no one will know. But, you describe it in such clarity and remembrance. When you remember things so clear, it brings comfort. A beautiful tribute to your husband.*Angel*

Please understand that my review is just one voice among many points of view. Take what you think will help you and leave the rest. Thank you for allowing me to read your work!

Write on!!


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
13
13
Review of The Seasons  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*FlowerP* ~A Rising Star's M2M Review~ *FlowerP*


*FlowerP* I love the changing of the seasons, so I had to read this when I noticed the title. *FlowerP*

*FlowerP* I love how you describe the changing or "dying" of the seasons and then their rebirth. You write in a-a-b-b like me. I prefer that structure. I think it flows the best. You really did a great job tying one line to another to make sound natural. Great job! *FlowerP*


Please understand that my review is just one voice among many points of view. Take what you think will help you and leave the rest. Thank you for allowing me to read your work!

Write on!!

Mare ~ extended hiatus Author IconMail Icon

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
14
14
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*FlowerP* ~A Rising Star's M2M Review~ *FlowerP*


*FlowerP* The title caught my attention, so I had to explore this piece further! *FlowerP*

*FlowerP* As I read through this, I found myself experiencing the same things at one point in life. Most of the things you mentioned, I've found to be true. The ALL CAPS thing? Yep, I did it, and everyone thought I was screaming like a maniac. However, I, like you, did that for grabbing attention.

I've never been labeled antisocial however, if I mentioned God in my work. Not sure why that would happen. I find that quite bizarre actually. I used to go on Facebook all the time, but right now, or since WdC I should say, I could care less about it and never go on anymore. There's too much dishonesty. Everyone tries to one up the other by posting prominent things, whatever they may be.

I don't go on Twitter. Again, I could care less. I don't know why the social media craze is so huge. Especially to have the president tweeting. That just seems wrong or something.

Anyway, you have a really good piece here on perspective. I related it to as I'm sure many will as well. Just don't ever feel uncomfortable stating your beliefs. I don't care when people share beliefs, but I do mind if they try to push their belief system onto me. That's when you've gone too far, and I know you'd never do that!! I really enjoyed this! Thanks!
*FlowerP*


Please understand that my review is just one voice among many points of view. Take what you think will help you and leave the rest. Thank you for allowing me to read your work!

Write on!!

Mare ~ extended hiatus Author IconMail Icon

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
15
15
Review of The Journey  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*RainbowL* A review from the WdC Angel Army! *RainbowR*


*Angel* Initial Thoughts: Can a story like this be possible? *Angel*

*Angel* Conclusion: As usual, you have just the right words to describe feelings, emotions, surroundings, whatever really. You really need to put all of your poems in some kind of anthology. You're too talented not to have your works read by millions. You have a real gift my friend, what else can I say. Why would you even request a review from me? You're out of my league! Keep up that beautiful writing! *Angel*

Please understand that my review is just one voice among many points of view. Take what you think will help you and leave the rest. Thank you for allowing me to read your work!

Write on!!


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
16
16
Review of Out Of Place  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*RainbowL* A review from the WdC Angel Army! *RainbowR*


*Angel* Initial Thoughts: I knew I had to keep reading to find out what happened. I love stories like this. *Angel*

*Angel* Conclusion: Your grammar is very good and you're descriptive in your surroundings, or NOT surroundings I should say, lol. Now, I enjoyed this very much, but you got me at the ending. I hate it when there is too much left to the imagination. I would love to see you expand on this. I'm all about instant gratification. An open ending like that makes my head hurt! LOL Congratulations on winning the contest. Your piece is well worth first place! Also, congratulations on you becoming a moderator. If anyone deserves it, it's certainly you!! Keep on writing! *Angel*

Please understand that my review is just one voice among many points of view. Take what you think will help you and leave the rest. Thank you for allowing me to read your work!

Write on!!


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
17
17
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*RainbowL* A review from the WdC Angel Army! *RainbowR*


*Angel* Initial Thoughts: You were dead on with this. *Angel*

*Angel* Conclusion: I always knew Christmas was created by Pagans, the whole tree and holly and decorating. I have friends who are Jehovah's Witnesses, and they told me about this; hence they don't celebrate Christmas. I always thought Jesus was born around March? I can't remember, but you described the origins perfectly. Great job! *Angel*

Please understand that my review is just one voice among many points of view. Take what you think will help you and leave the rest. Thank you for allowing me to read your work!

Write on!!


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
18
18
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*RainbowL* A review from the WdC Angel Army! *RainbowR*


*Angel* Initial Thoughts: This was a very imaginative story, and it really meets the genre of folklore! *Angel*

*Angel* Conclusion: It seemed to me that he is the devil or a demon? Since he was rebuking him in the name of Jesus Christ? But, I love how the story is told with Nicholas teaching them about Jesus. The true story of Christmas is often not the subject, it's just all about Santa Claus. You did Christmas justice here! *Angel*

Please understand that my review is just one voice among many points of view. Take what you think will help you and leave the rest. Thank you for allowing me to read your work!

Write on!!


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
19
19
Review of Santa's Day After  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*RainbowL* A review from the WdC Angel Army! *RainbowR*


*Angel* Initial Thoughts: I came across the title and it captured my attention, so I decided to take a look. *Angel*

*Angel* Conclusion: Free verse poetry is not my thing, and from what I understand, is very difficult. I mean if it's free verse, then what makes it good? Those are just my thoughts! Poetry altogether seems to elude me.

I enjoyed the poem though talking of Santa and what he does the next day. The last line really made me laugh about the Easter Bunny. Keep attacking free verse! You'll get it down!
*Angel*

Please understand that my review is just one voice among many points of view. Take what you think will help you and leave the rest. Thank you for allowing me to read your work!

Write on!!


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
20
20
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*RainbowL* A review from the WdC Angel Army! *RainbowR*


*Angel* Initial Thoughts: I love these blink entries. They're so much fun! *Angel*

*Angel* Conclusion: You did an excellent job with such little information and using so few words. Your descriptions of the surroundings are imaginative and allows the reader to feel what it's like to be there. You have a gift for writing, and WdC can only help you improve. Utilize the tools here and get involved in the community. You'll love it. Great job! *Angel*

Please understand that my review is just one voice among many points of view. Take what you think will help you and leave the rest. Thank you for allowing me to read your work!

Write on!!


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
21
21
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Star**Menorah**Santahat**Ornament1r* Spreading Peace in "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window. Happy Holiday Member to Member RAID! *Ornament1r**Santahat**Menorah**Star*


*Ornament1r* Initial Thoughts: What an extremely imaginative and unique way to describe WdC in the beginning! *Ornament1r*

*Santahat* Conclusion: I laughed throughout most of this because it was so humorous! How you incorporated science fiction is pretty amazing! I love it. Your descriptions and perspective are dead on. Jay, you are a truly gifted writer, and I'm thrilled to have you here with us on WdC. What a wonderful addition to the family! And a fellow rising star to boot! Good luck with everything, although you are on your way to an amazing start! *Santahat*

*Ornament1r* Please understand that my review is just one voice among many points of view. Take what you think will help you and leave the rest. Thank you for allowing me to read your work! *Ornament1r*


*Santahat* Write on!! *Santahat*

Mare ~ extended hiatus Author IconMail Icon

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
22
22
Review of Stomach Pangs  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
*Star**Menorah**Santahat**Ornament1r* Spreading Peace in "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window. Happy Holiday Member to Member RAID! *Ornament1r**Santahat**Menorah**Star*


*Ornament1r* Initial Thoughts: This was quite interesting to read. I don't know what the prompt was so I can't give as thorough a review as I'd have liked. *Ornament1r*

*Santahat* Conclusion: I wondering what your thoughts were as you wrote this. I interpret it with the word hunger. I'm not a poet at all, and I don't know the structures and forms of poetry. This is one that I haven't seen before. It was difficult for me to follow. It didn't flow freely for me, but again, that's just my perspective. *Santahat*

*Ornament1r* Please understand that my review is just one voice among many points of view. Take what you think will help you and leave the rest. Thank you for allowing me to read your work! *Ornament1r*


*Santahat* Write on!! *Santahat*

Mare ~ extended hiatus Author IconMail Icon

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
23
23
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*RainbowL* A simply positive review! *RainbowR*


*RainbowL* Initial Thoughts:From what I gather, you want grammar and punctuation corrected, so I'll go through and point out any I see. *RainbowR*

*RainbowL* Conclusion: This is the best way for me to do it I think. I'll copy and paste what you have and go through like that.


"Wake up! What's the matter with him? (Should this be what's the matter with you?) I said 'wake up'!"

"I can'd ged oud of bed. I hab a code."

"There's work to be done! Upsadaisy!"

"Don'd tage da bladkeds off lige dat. Id's code."

"Well(comma after well) we're in the North Pole. What did you expect? Florida? And where's your tissue? If he hasn't gone back to sleep! Ever since he was a wee lad, he would just go back to sleep."(not sure what you mean here. It doesn't make sense to me. Is she still talking to him?)

Mrs. Claus tut-tutted and strode out of Santa's room. For those of you who aren't Santa Claus's Mom, let me tell you, it's a tough job, especially when it's Christmas Eve (comma) and your son refuses to get going. The only thing you can do is to take over yourself.

Which is what Mrs. Claus did.

She began by searching for Santa's mobile phone. It always turned up in the most unexpected places. This time, she located in (it) in the drawer marked 'scraps of wrapping paper too pretty to throw but too small to use' (I normally use italics for this type of sentence, but that's up to you!). Why hadn't that son of hers thought of using them as gift-tags, for goodness' sake? Anyway, the mobile.

"Hmmmm. Let me see. 'R--u--d'. No matches? Bless him if he hasn't stored all of them under 'reindeer'. Okay. 'Reindeer, Rudolph'. Hallo? Rudolph? Your boss has gone back to sleep, so we have to get this thing done. Just round up the others and get over here, pronto."

"Yes, Ma'am."

"I'll get Kiya Sama and her angels to help load the sleigh. You don't need someone to actually steer, do you? Not that my son was very good at that anyway."

Rudolph permitted himself a small chuckle. "Doesn't have a very good sense of direction, does he?"

"He'd go up the chimney instead of down, if it weren't for gravity. Okay, I'll call Kiya. Get the reindeer here ASAP. Hmmmm. 'Kiya'. Bless him, why can't he store numbers normally, like anyone else? Okay. 'WDC, Kiya'. Kiya? Can you grab some of your angels and help load the sleigh? No, no. He has gone back to sleep, so Rudolph's handling it. What? What's that? Elle? I know, I know. She runs that Snail Mail thing of yours, at WDC. Probably has a better sense of direction than my son. Okay, yes, she can steer the sleigh tonight. Bring her. Bring them all. I'll make soup. Yes, I know StoryMistress is vegetarian, I'll make vegetable soup. Now don't stand there talking about soup, my dear girl. Grab your angels and get here pip pip. Dress warm."

Mrs. Claus muttered under her breath as she chopped tomatoes, peeled potatoes, grated some carrots and bunged in beets. When the soup was nicely boiling, she went to the clothes-closet. "He has put on weight, that son of mine. It'll be too big for Elle by miles. Nice petite little thing she is, too. Hmmmm. A tuck here, a fold there ..." She carried the suit to her room, got her sewing kit and went to work.

As she held the suit at arm's length to admire it, the doorbell rang. She had hardly turned the doorknob when the whole Angel Army was around her, laughing, hugging, yelling, "Merry Christmas!" And, of course, Sapph yelled, "I smell soup!"

"Leave some for that son of mine!" she admonished. "Bless him, sleeping through all this shouting. There's whole-wheat bread on the shelf there and some cheese somewhere ..."

The angels nicely fed, they got to work checking the nice list and making sure all the gifts tallied up. The reindeer were at the door, the sleigh was being loaded. "Have you had something to eat?" Mrs. Claus asked Rudolph.

"We'll eat when we're done. We don't like to deliver gifts on a full tummy."

"Okay, while you're loading up, I'll get Elle to try on the suit."

She steered Elle to the bedroom and helped her in to the suit. "Perfect," was the verdict.

As Elle was about to join the others, Mrs. Claus's manner suddenly became furtive.

"Er, Elle, my dear," she said.

"Yes?" Elle replied, surprised.

"I wonder if you could do me a tiny favour. I mean, I don't discount this big favour you're doing already, but another one."

"Sure, anything."

Mrs. Claus beckoned mysteriously. Elle followed, puzzled. They went to the big desk in the corner of the room and Mrs. Claus opened the last drawer.

"See," she whispered."My great-nephew, Andrew, he got himself put on the naughty list this year. Got the pup to knock the tree down on purpose. But he'll be heartbroken if he doesn't get his bubblegum, and I'd bought it for him already. You'll be going down that chimney anyway, to deliver gifts to his twin, Steve. Just put this under Andrew's pillow, won't you, there's a good girl? They won't have put a stocking for him. That's punishment enough. He's a good lad, just playful, sometimes."

"Sure," Elle replied, grinning.

"And mum's the word. Yes, yes, we're coming. Had to alter the suit a bit. Elle is thinner than I thought she was!" Winking at Elle, Santa's Mom led the way outside, where the sleigh stood in all its splendour, fully loaded, with Rudolph and team ready to go.

The angels cheered as Elle climbed on. "Merry Christmas to all!" she called, as the sleigh rose in to the air.

"Merry Christmas!" they yelled back, and watched the sleigh till it became a little dot in the sky.

"Mom!" a voice called from inside.

"There's some soup left for you, son. Wait, wait, I'm coming to heat it up. How are you feeling? Cold all better?"

She trotted back in to the house, only pausing at the threshold to give the angels a wave and a quick 'thank you'. She had a son to pamper. *RainbowR*

*RainbowL* I loved this. It was so cute!! That's all I noticed, but if I misinterpreted, please let me know or discard my comments!!! *RainbowR*

Write on!!


Mare ~ extended hiatus Author IconMail Icon

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*StarV* Proud Member of the Rising Stars *StarV*


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
24
24
Review of Hero Lost  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*RainbowL* A review from the WdC Angel Army! *RainbowR*


*Angel* Initial Thoughts: This is a very imaginative and unique perspective. *Angel*

*Angel* Conclusion: Please correct me if I am wrong as sometimes I misinterpret poems. I see you are writing about yourself, or I should say that person is writing about themselves; the hero. It would appear that he had an epiphany about himself and decided to change his situation. I love poems like this. I feel that you did a great job relaying the message. *Angel*

Please understand that my review is just one voice among many points of view. Take what you think will help you and leave the rest. Thank you for allowing me to read your work!

Write on!!


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
25
25
Review of My Biography  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*RainbowL* A review from the WdC Angel Army! *RainbowR*


*Angel* Initial Thoughts: Wow! What a blessed, fulfilled life you've had!! *Angel*

*Angel* Conclusion: It's amazing how many accomplishments and achievements in your professional portfolio. Congratulations for all of them! As you said in your piece, you do have a lot to be thankful for. Maybe you should consider writing a true memoir. You can inspire so many with all that you've accomplished. So glad to have you here on WdC! *Angel*

Please understand that my review is just one voice among many points of view. Take what you think will help you and leave the rest. Thank you for allowing me to read your work!

Write on!!


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