I thoroughly agree with each and every point you have made here. Reviewing is equally as important an exercise as writing the item to be reviewed. A reviewer MUST take the time to be specific with the reviewee, COMPASSIONATELY, about what he or she did or did not enjoy about their poem. If the reviewer has a problem with parts of the poem, my personal belief is that it is inherent upon the reviewer to present alternatives to the writer for consideration. Otherwise the writer is left sitting in the dark scratching his/her head, knowing something is amiss, but perhaps not quite sure how to remedy the situation. A good review can be a valuable learning experience. Some of my best learning experiences have come from my lower reviews!
Oh my. Poetess is definitely smitten with her man. The only problem is that this writer had more trouble reading the offered poem than she was nearly willing to expend, due to the long length and no paragraph breaks. That is one pet peeve of this Poetess - in my humble opinion, a poem of great length deserves to be separated by paragraph breaks to give the reader's eyes a break and mind the time to digest what it is that they are reading. Otherwise, much of the meaning is lost on even the most astute of us (which I certainly do not claim to be). That is my ONLY problem with this poem. The lack of paragraph breaks. It is an easily remedied situation. Thank you for posting you personal poem to share with us!
Poetess has taken an important topic and translated it into a message of poetic merit. Form and flow are practically flawless, and there is considerable enjoyable to the ear alliteration in each line. With her well chosen words and vivid imagery, Poetess creates a scene in which the reader finds him/herself unwittingly more than just a participant; reader is part and parcel of the poem. The only suggestion I would have for this well written poem, and this suggestion is merely a matter of sylistics, is that of paragraph breaks. This one long verse could easily be broken into three paragraphs: One paragraph ending after the line that ends ..."decanting in sorrow", another that begins after the line that ends ... " vagrant vanity." The reader may be helped in their grasp of the poem by these paragraph breaks. However, this is a very, very minor point, and truly is not a major stumbling block either way. Good job, Poetess!
I think that this is a great start at a good theme (simplicity), however the timing and the rhyme scheme both seem forced to me in spots. I think the Poetess is capable of a stronger work than the one posted; it is evident from reading between the lines that this is a talented writer waiting to be set free.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/moonchild71157
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.11 seconds at 4:00am on Nov 22, 2024 via server WEBX2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
