I mean, these are well written and I can see the heart put into them. I guess I sometimes have a hard time just reading lyrics because I can't quite imagine the music that goes with them. Still, I will say this, I can definitely pick up on some good figurative language use. You provide some good imagery and great similies that help put a good picture in the reader/listener's mind.
Hm, very interesting. Not so much chilling horror as it is intriguing thriller, but it is still a good story all the same. I definitely liked some of the twists involved in this one, and it definitely leaves some unanswered questions for the readers to ponder over to the end. Overall, I found this one to be an exciting read.
You take the notion of "we have nothing to fear but fear itself" to another level. The idea that fear only exists because we believe in it...that's a powerful thought, and one I quite like. It makes for an excellent opening to this story. In many ways, this gives off a very distinct American Horror Story vibe. Yet, there's something chilling about the narrator's voice in this one. On one hand, he is the outsider, who expresses something like sympathy towards the children. On the other, he's got a calculating sense of mind, borderline Mengele-like, as if he's driven by a lust of curiosity to uncover the secrets. Moreover, there's very little dialogue in this story, and it really works to help sell the tone of it. It keeps it that introspective, outsider-looking-in, kind of vibe.
But the twist at the end. Man, that just really cuts to the core, and it was an awesome ride to read it!
Now this is a fascinating idea, that's for sure. As someone who's a big proponent of gamification in education, I find these implications interesting to say the least. What you're suggesting is something on an even bigger scale: gamification of life! There's a lot of potential in that, and as you stated, it opens up to some possibilities regarding human motivation. I mean, look at this site as an example. Things like badges and awards (game achievements, in a way) are used as motivation. These are no different than the things you find on say ClassCraft, for example.
However, the one thing I will say about this that makes me hesitant is the implications this has on allowing our personal lives to become even less private than before. While it is true that we are becoming more complacent with "big brother" watching our every purchase and advertising the bejeezus out of us for it, it is a bit unsettling. I don't know if I would put so much of my life into one app. Those are just some thinking points to muse on, of course. Interesting concept, though!
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