"Don't they all know
how much fun I can be,
To skip on the water
or throw at a tree?
Just pick me up
and then you will see,
I'm just a small rock,
but I'm still me!"
It made me smile uncontrollably. :] This was incredibly well
written, and it's going in my favorites. It was perfect for people
of all ages. Great work, and write on! :D
"Oh evil, evil Soul let go of my Heart!
let me leave these woods,let me now depart.
The sound of a River rushing far, far away
leading off to somewhere, a large, lovely Bay."
I love the third stanza of your poem! I'm usually more
into poems that aren't so chalked up in hidden messages,
but I really enjoyed this one! I agree with you, though.
There is hope in every situation. :]
I have a suggestion, though:
-Check your capitalization. It seemed a little
weird at some places.
"Because of who you are,
you came and died for me.
Your spirit and your truth,
has come and set me free.
I am not alone,
you made heaven my home.
Because of who you are,
I am not afraid."
Wow, I love that part in the poem.
I especially love religious poems,
and lyrics because they speak to me
the most out of everything that I read.
Great work on this, and I really enjoyed
it! Write on, because you're really great
at it. :D
this was so hilarious! it made me laugh
so many times that i lost count! it also made
me cringe inwardly a couple of times, also.
this just makes me want to go and check all
of my work for errors. thanks for the laugh!
and thank you for writing this! it's going straight
into my favorites. :]
What a story this poem is telling! The characters
came alive for me, and I found myself feeling sorry
for them both to have missed the chance to dance
together. :[ It was very intense, and filled with hidden
emotions [or it felt that way to me], and I really enjoyed
it. Great work! :D
This story is really powerful! It
kept me interested (not the easiest
thing to do, considering my short
attention span. :D), and on the edge
of my seat. I thought several times
throughout this story that EVERYONE
was going to die, but I'm glad it didn't
turn out that way. :] Very good writing,
and a very good story. I only noticed
a few grammatical errors, but those
are easily fixed. I like your use of imagery,
and how you use your words. The characters
seemed very real to me, in a very unreal situation,
you could say. But anyway, keep up the good work!
Write on. :D
This poem is so true! Especially the line
about being afraid of dying unadmired.
That's one of my greatest fears, honestly.
I'm pretty sure this poem describes any
person who calls themself a writer. :]
I'm a poet myself, and I really wish I could
make my words rhyme like you manage to.
But your writing style is very good, and your
poems can only get better and better. Write on!
:D
Whoa! That was unexpected. It took me a few reads
at the end to realize what I was reading. I didn't realize
that I was holding my breath until the last time I read it.
It was VERY good, I have to say. It kept me on the edge
of my seat (I'm still there!) and I can't wait to read the next
chapter! Very well done, and very well written. I didn't find
any grammatical or spelling errors, either. That's always
a plus. :D Write on, Max!
I've never seen anyone write from the point-of-view
of Eve before, and you've done a good job with
it. It's well-rounded enough, but I think it could use
some work. I think this poem has a lot of potential, and
if you choose to work on it some more (I hope you do! :D)
this poem could cause envy in a lot of hearts. :) Anyway,
write on, Marla! :] Good job.
this was good, but it could use some tuning up.
the way you use your words can make an extraordinary
subject matter seemed bland. experiment with
the way that you speak, and try to use words
that appeal to the senses. make your readers have
literary visions of your work. while writing ask yourself,
"How can I make this sound stronger?" it usually
works for me. :D Anyway, very good piece. Fluff it up,
work on it, and make it the extraordinary work that
I know it can be. :D
aw. this is so bittersweet. i want hayden to
be happy, but i want marissa ro be happy
with hayden. :[ ah well. I WANT MORE! this
was goooood. all of your grammer and punctuation
is where it should be, and hey, i enjoyed the story.
try playing with your words a bit more to convey
the emotions that the characters may be feeling.
but hey, i love words, so i may just be saying that.
:D overall, very good. you should turn this into
a long story. i'd enjoy it. i'm a sucker for this kind
of stuff. :D
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