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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/mmclemore
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47 Public Reviews Given
48 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Rated: E | (3.5)
A few thoughts to share...
Have you ever been in a small room with a few people and the temperature is comfortable? Then, more people arrive and then more, and as they arrive it gets warmer and warmer. We live in a small place where in half a century the population has doubled. We continue to make our space on the surface of the Earth smaller by pulling her guts out and building taller buildings, which in turn distributes the world's weight unevenly. How much oil does the Earth contain? I have a feeling we will one day find out. I hope it isn't a protective layer in the earth, used to protect us from the core, I mean, if it is, there will be some major weather changes over the final years of oils extraction, not to mention the Earth heating up from the center.
I have this little world under glass, it is actually a table with a glass top, but it is also a little world within. I have several layers of different soils, with plants, proper lighting and water features; everything needed in Michigan to make my tropical loving lizard community comfortable. There is a reason I am telling you this. It took me years to get all the elements "just right" in there. My little ecosystem can sustain life pretty good. But, if I was to remove all the vegation things would change. The temperature would become uncomfortable, perhaps cook my little cold-blooded friends.
Research once how much of the worlds forests are removed per year, even after the conscientious reforesting by SOME.
I am not one who believes in Global Warming, but Michigan did have 80 degree days two January's ago, and this January had a few 60 degree days, that was El Nino though, at least that is what the media said. Also last spring we had such wonderful weather, the apple trees started budding early. And then we got a frost. Really screwed up the apple crops last year. Farmers were racing to use chemicals to help out.
Oh, that reminds me, our oxygen percentage in our atmosphere is at an all time low. We need that in our atmosphere, well, actually we need a certain balance of elements in our atmosphere to equalize the radiation we receive from the sun. Certain rays are reaching the surface that never reached it before. I notice this in the way things "appear". Certain things look different this year in the sunlight than they did last year.
Anyways, just thought I would run these thoughts by you. Your writing kind of gave me an excuse to share them, which is a great thing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review of Darkness Awaits  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
That was a great story. By the end I forgot it was a dream being described.
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Review of Open Wound  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Welcome fellow Newbie and featured author in the Angel Review Forum.

This is an honest little piece. Sounds like you do the same thing as me; have thoughts just as I am going to sleep. A little notebook works wonders for these small moments of inspiration. I have lost some moments by not writing them down, and I will do this no more! It is either a little notebook or a tape recorder.

Good job.

Mark.
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Review of Sick Old Man  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello fellow Newbie and featured author in the Angel Review Forum.
I remember writing limericks for creative writing.
Funny.
Good job, and...

         ...WRITE ON *Pencil*
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Review of Blood and pain  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Greetings fellow Newbie and featured author in the Angel Review Forum.

Great read. So true. Everyday we feel the pull of those things in society that try and tie us down to one thing. We must find ourselves what our own dream is, and then chase it relentlessly.

I read your BioBlock. What kind of world have you been writing? Check out my writing called Paracosm. I started designing my own too, for a game at first, but later the baby took on a life of it's own, as a toddler now I have to stop and discipline it sometimes because I feel it is getting out of hand. But, other than that I am letting it live on it's own. I will post some on here one day, maybe under a different account.

Have a good night.

Mark.
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Great poem. I have read of this legend before. I am Native American Sioux/Irish. My dad is 50/50, growing up he would tell me legends. I remember him telling me this story. I believe he passed it on to my daughter too, since she is really into wolves and Native American art.

Good work.
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
What a great read! I just finished a young adult series titled The Edge and your description of the fauna made me feel like I was in that story still, which is a good thing, because that whole story was amazing as well. Your description of the storm really made me feel it.

I am definitely going to read the other chapters, so the hook is there.

Thanks for the read.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
This is what I absolutely love about WdC! There is something for everything in here!

My 21 year old daughter is getting married in May, a lot is already set in place as far as venue, reception, entertainment and the dress, but I love some of the ideas in here and wish I would have been in here sooner and found this piece.

Very informative. This is a great piece.
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Rated: E | (4.0)
I like this information. We all do this kind of writing, but this does not make us professional writers. It is nice to have a name put to this type of writing, I never knew it had a name, type, or style until reading this. I guess, it is some type of writing so it would have a name put to it, but I never considered it before.

This is just a suggestion, but I noticed in your last paragraph, first sentence; "Written projects which begin as a large, complex theories or explanations require..." Either the "a' needs to be omitted or "theories" and 'explanations" needs to be made singular.

Thanks for the informative read.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Very good information, Burt.

I live in Michigan, USA, and have been recycling metal since 2005. Certain aluminum cans have a 10 cent refund (called a deposit) on them, which is a good way to get people to recycle, but some products, like Arizona Ice Tea and discount pops do not have this deposit. I still hate seeing them thrown away. Any metal, I hate seeing any of it go in the garbage. My family recycles paper also and I have a nice compost pile as well, since I garden. Also, I use many of the plastic containers for my gardening, like the yogurt cups for starting seeds.

I recently did some research on our world population, in fact I put some of my research into a story on here called Population Overload, found in my Portfolio. I really believe the way we are populating the Earth we need to be conscious of our waste management.

Thanks for the informative read. I never knew we generated that much waste per person.
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Review of Sanitation  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
*Skull*
H A L O
*Skull*
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Rated: E | (4.0)
*Star**Star**Star*DISCLAIMER*Star**Star**Star*


This Review is just my opinion, you may find advice within and use it as you like or disregard any points within.



*ThumbsUpl*           What I enjoyed about this piece:
         *PointRight* You give a vivid view of life at a reenactment, so good it was making me hungry for some breakfast!


*Tools*          What I think could use some work: (and these are just some grammar issues I found while reading, not being harsh)

         *PointRight* Here is something I often find as I read writings done with devices that have spell checker, I call it Words-Spelled-Right-But-Out-Of-Context Syndrome, here is a line from your story: “Could you help find some?” She looks up at me, her pretty chocolate face light brightly by the dancing flames. I believe you want: "lit". This is a common error, found even in popular reading material; magazines, newspapers, even some books where someone was suppose watch for this problem. This just encourages writers to ALWAYS make sure they proofread before posting.

         *PointRight* Also, I found a run-on sentence which also includes the spell check problem: It is light enough to see without candles now, and when everything it done cooking we will ring the bell and the people in our group will come and eat, tell us how good the food is, wash their dishes in the tubs of wash water and leave to go do their part in bringing the amazing town of Westville to life.. Can you see the two sentences, (one is lighter, there is the strike through "and"). As you hone your craft of writing you will see some of these rules. There are writings I go back too later and find a lot of rules I learned broken. Also, I highlighted "it", I am sure you see why- "is".

         *PointRight* Also, as I was quickly told by several people reviewing my first story, "The Heart Key", make sure you space your paragraphs for readability, you can compare to my story, "Act Your Age, or Leave!" in which I did just that. I tried the 5 space indent traditional paragraphing when I wrote "The Heart Key", and when I posted- IT WAS GONE! And, wow, did I hear it. I haven't gone back to fix it so you can check it out if you want.

*Star**Star**Star**Star*


OVERALL


*Hook* The story drew me in. I really liked reading this, my friend.

*Gears* You are new to writing, keep honing your craft, I can see you will quickly find your voice. Keep on writing, every experience can be told and when you are deep into the craft, every thought, idea, experience, BREATH, can be tweaked into a story worth reading!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review of Twin Flame  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Like. Good job. *ThumbsUpl*
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Rated: E | (4.5)
You can always tell a great story when you are reading it and in your head you create ten more little stories...

This was that story, you did an excellent job! It even gave me chills at the end.

Keep up the good work, writing!
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Review of Evil Ruled You  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (2.5)
Great job, Skylar.
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Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
Interesting in deed. I like the way it opens and ends with a catchy phrase, and, personally, the in between seems like a crazy little ride- perhaps the medicinal cocktail is rocking! Keep honing the craft, friend.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review of Follow the Light  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Very well written from the point of the infected. It is interesting to think about how those inflicted with some disease like this might think and feel, and this does a great job expressing those feelings, the still having memory but the unstoppable urge to pursue human flesh until that urge is destroyed by a survivor strategically placing a bullet into the brain of an infected. Great job!
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