The story had me interested for a while but then, to me, it got a bit confusing. I am assuming that "Lufica" is Lucifer in this case, and the trio of boys descended into hell at the end? I found the comparison of the half moon object to the actual moon rather intriguing, and I would've liked to have seen more ties to that. You could almost create another page in creating a history behind the object and its ties to the natural world, perhaps making it a pagan artifact of sorts. Some of the other segments could have been more developed as well. I missed the boat on Nick's observance of Kurt's faux limp, for example.
I also enjoyed the switch between the characters' thoughts in the middle of the story. Perhaps that could've been showcased a little more.
The octopus reference, again I assume, was to relay to the reader that the trios' thoughts were already being invaded by this force. Why would an octopus live in a dog cage? I did like that part and would recommend adding more of those types of references.
Overall I think the story has some great inherent components for a spellbinding tale this Halloween!
I really enjoyed this story. When initially going through it I had to double back because the "monkey suit" reference threw me. I normally associate that term with a tuxedo, so I continued my reading with the perception of a possible celebratory event in the works. But after getting to the part about the gravesite I had to go back and read through it again. I would also think about making certain the reader understands that Michael is the storytellers little brother much sooner in the storyline. For some reason I initially thought he was the storyteller's son! I loved how the flashbacks were threaded throughout the story, and the ending was perfect. It still gives me goosebumps. I'm looking forward to reading more of your work!
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