They're American characters, who watch British television, on an Italian vacation, and they have German pet names? The characters are worldly, I'll grant you that, but it seems like extraneous details that aren't adding much of anything to a story of this length.
In addition, Fred seems to capitulate awfully quickly to his wife's desires. You explain why, but it happens completely out of the blue without any inciting moment. Maybe show Fred watching the documentary on Victoria. Maybe allude to it beforehand. Maybe have him mull over the decision before just outwardly announcing they are on the boat together.
A wonderful, vividly described, slow-burn of an Age Progression TG story. Nate's transformation into Natalie is descriptive and engaging. The chapters are short, punchy, and always move the story forwards. It's genuinely arousing without turning into smut. And best of all, it's realistic. Natalie is no sexpot or nymphomaniac, but an honest to goodness woman (at least I assume so; the picture link is dead). The eroticism is 100% in the transformation, not cheap sex. This is a story for TG fans, by a real TG fan, and I cannot encourage it enough.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/missmarym
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.10 seconds at 4:57pm on Nov 27, 2024 via server WEBX2.