I don't think the imagery actually makes you feel like you can see this as you reading it. I believe with a little revision this could be a great short story!
I really enjoyed this short story. Atthe begiining I didn;t think it was going to be a story that I liked because I thought it was going to be kidish persay. I honestly felt myself getting pulled into the story and felt like I had to keep reading to find out what was going to happen and how it was going to end! wonderful story.
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