I love it. It has tension in it which is good and the way you have left it had me wondering if this poppy is gay or just being a good friend. It is an easy read with a good pace. You could add a bit more about what she does at home during her break and the relationship with her mother and father. But overall it’s good and I would like to see where you are going to take it. It has a hook and I’m in.
Yes I'd love to read more. It would be interesting to see how the story unfolds and what has caused him to be a tortured soul. It prosed a lot of questions in my mind which is always a good sign to a book with a lot of mystery.
A good read. I like the twist towards the end and the suspense you created throughout it was amazing. It took me a while to get used to your writing style at the beginning of the piece, as I felt it was written in short hand and for me I like to join sentences to make them flow more. However once I got past the first couple of paragraphs I was into it and very intrigued to find out what was going on.
Wow I love it. It makes a great deal of sense and has real emotion and thought. I didn't want it to end. It really got me thinking about my own relationship and how I relate to it.
I think you need the word 'your' in the line 'something is on brain'.
a few commas need to be added I think in places, but overall its a brilliant poem.
Hi I love your poem. Its very heart felt and I can understand exactly where you are coming from. Its easy to read and flows from the top to the bottom. I like poetry that rhymes as I think it flows better that way.
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