This is a great chapter 1. I think you have captured a child's voice very well, not to mention the dialect of the time. I only have a tiny want, I would have liked a a short description of an object or street of the time. I love these little details, but I'm spoiled. :)
It would be sad for you not to continue on with this story. It needs to be told. This is one time I would encourage you to write without the reviews from others. You have a good thing here and you just need to trust yourself.
I'm not an in the closet romance reader, in other words, I'm quite honest about my book candy. So I know what draws me in, but I have no previous experience with this type of fiction except for my interest in this genre. So I may not be the reviewer you are looking for, but here it goes anyway.
Have you ever heard the blues sung in a pretty voice? No, probably not We want the performance to be messy. Who cares if they hit all the notes, it's the rawness of the performance that counts. That's how I feel the voice needs to be in a romantic/sexy/dark genre. There needs to be a rhythm. Slow and steady. Use words that go there, but aren't blatant. The reader will always have a sense where the story is going, but make them wait for it. Hot!
I sense your passion and I think you have the makings of good story here. I would love to see where you go with this if you decide to write on.
5 stars? Yes, 5 stars. Unfortunately, I do not know much about Caterina's history, but I would like to know more now that I have read your piece.
Your writing is believable because you are consistent. Through your dialogue and your effortless descriptions I was able to immediately develop a relationship with your main character. Have you ever read a story and missed the characters when it ended? I think you have the ability to write in such a way.
I won't patronize you with the words "great job." I will leave you with "Write On!" Can't wait to read more.
The way this was written, I'm not sure if it is fiction or non-fiction.
It's a bit uncomfortable not knowing which, because if this is nonfiction, I don't think a memoir should be rated. A person who makes themselves vulnerable by sharing a part of themselves always gets a 5!
If this is fiction, I felt that it moved too quickly through the tragedy Christina experienced. As a reader, I love to pick up a book and lose myself into a books detail. Whether I relate to the environment the character is in, the clothing he/she is wearing or emotions he/she is feeling, I'm greedy, I want it all. I take a bit of comfort either escaping the world I'm in or not feeling so alone in the one I'm living.
What a great story. This story brings me back to the days of when we used to read short stories in school. I loved the story about foot falls and another about a woman who killed her husband with a leg of lamb and served it up to the cops who were investigating. I'm 42 if that gives you an idea of how long those stores stayed with me. I read them in elementary school. I think that is the highest compliment I can give you. Your writing leaves an impact and is hard to forget. Good for you. So few can do that now-a-days. I read "50 Shades of Grey" and the story itself is forgettable, but yet it is popular. Blows my mind. Thanks for sharing.
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