How sad yet true when you're living with Alzheimer's. This was beautifully written and I'm sure difficult as well. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Keep writing.
I enjoyed reading this again. You write so well. You bring the reader right into the story with the characters. I am still wondering if you are going to continue this story or leave it as is. I would love to read more of the adventures of Sampson, Elizabeth, and Anna.
This was very well written and I'm sure difficult to write. I am so very sorry for your loss and the pain you felt then and are probably still feeling. I'm of the belief that we will be with our family members again so that eases the pain somewhat for us left behind. Your wife was right in telling you "it wasn't worth killing the man who killed them". Fate or our Heavenly Father has a way of taking care of the "bad guys". Just as what you described above. He will still have to answer to God for his actions here on earth. We may not all get to know what happens to those who do us wrong like you did, but that's where our faith comes in and hope that all will be made right in one way or another. I hope you have found some peace over the years.
Beautiful, descriptive, and compelling. One can imagine themselves right there with you. I've enjoyed very much reading this work from you again. It has been a long time yet it feels just like the first time. You are a fine writer.
Please read through the following as I have corrected misspellings and grammar mistakes. I have taken taken some words out and added some to make it flow a little better. I hope that I have helped. If not please let me know. If I have please let me know. I found it very interesting reading.
The teacher gave us instructions: Discuss the importance of education in George Orwell's Animal Farm. and here is what I came up with. If anyone has any corrections or ideas I would be more than happy to hear them.
The importance of education in Animal Farm
In his book, G. Orwell depicts an allegory about misleading educational system by illustrating life of farm animals. The (ingenuine) information (enforced) by (educated), dictatorial pigs leads to complete chaos.
The rise of the animal government can at first glance be seen as a positive change. Namely, wise and charismatic pig Snowball teaches animals to read. However, unequal education is what tends to corrupt society. Manipulative, sly,pig Napoleon indoctrinates rules of animalism into those subservient to himself along the way; for example when he dictates to them seven commandments. Furthermore, he burns books, which prevent animals from becoming literate. In addition, the lack of true education is illustrated through the naive thinking of the animals. Boxer is unable to think independently, he only develops a repeating mantra "I will work harder." Animals, because they are naive, are willing to obey any rule. Even when Clover questions the morality of killing other animals, she quickly succumbs and doesn't object.
In conclusion, I would like to stress that Animal farm represents what could be called the peak of corrupt education. However, while eradicating the last glimmer of common sense, pigs stay true to their mentality. It means that their form of education can be completely related to the idea that a rotten educational system can crash any society.
This is an interesting read and here are my suggestions--
1) If you haven't already done so separate paragraphs and indent first lines.
2) Space dialogue of each speaker and indent like 1st line of paragraph.
3) Paragraph #3 The line "Homesickness, I had never really been away from home before, not truly." and put it up further in the same paragraph just after "...it hit me." Then where you took out the above sentence remove the words "it hit me...Within a few minutes" Thus connecting "...to protect myself, I was up, clambering..."
4)In the paragraph that begins My second year and the sentence beginning My days...The word devolved is questionable in this sentence (did you mean to decline or deteriorate into?).
5)Eventually, we all arrived (the word should be at) the scene.
6)"...contain Wade, the 6'4", massive fully grown man (cam leave out extra adjective) and fully grown needs to be fully-grown.
7)Velociraptor? Now unless everyone who reads your narrative is an expert on dinosaurs or has a dictionary handy they are going to be scratching their heads at this word. I would probably change it to a more generally understandable term for the sake of the narrative.
8)"...first and second year campers..." needs to be first-and second-year campers.
I hope I Didn't overwhelm you with my suggestions. I hope you do well in English.
Your poem is quite visual and takes the reader into the forest with you. That's very good. The only thing I would change is in the line--
"The daisies were yellow..." change were to are to match the present tense you are writing in with the rest of the poem. (were is past tense).
First off I am sorry for the loss of your grandmother. It's apparent you loved her very much. I'm sure it was difficult to watch your grandmother slip away a little at a time, but she was blessed to have you there with your love and patience. She knew you loved her and she loved you too even though she may not have been able to tell you so. What you wrote was probable hard to do, but it was beautiful and it will help others going through the same thing.
What beautiful words and thoughts for someone you care about. I'd love someone to write a poem like this for me. It would certainly make me feel special. Thank you for writing it and expressing your feelings.
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