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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/miatetangco
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6 Public Reviews Given
16 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by miatetangco Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
I found this poem very humorous -- it made me smile and laugh, which I hope is what you were going for. The wording was clever and catchy -- this could make for a great children's book. I also sense that this poem is somewhat philosophical -- especially because of the last two stanzas. For a moment, I couldn't process why the giraffe was somewhat cheered by the horoscope, but I thought more deeply about it and figured that perhaps there's a deeper meaning to it. The end seems to tie the moral lesson(s) found in the poem together as well.

There are a few parts in the piece that I feel lack some words, though. For example: "Once there was an orangutan, thought she could fly" I would replace the comma with a "who," especially because adding "who" would make more sense, and wouldn't disrupt the smooth flow of the poem's rhythm. Another is "But as a naive creature, never went to school." I would also replace the comma with a "who" in this line.

The transition between the last two stanzas seemed a bit awkward to me. As if the poem jumped all of a sudden to a more didactic theme. Perhaps an addition of a transitional stanza could do, or a change in the last few lines of the fourth stanza.
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Review of Like Long Ago  Open in new Window.
Review by miatetangco Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
I like the nostalgic feel of this, and the way it kind of reads like an essay or journal entry. It's... refreshing, in a way. You have a very distinct writing style that I haven't seen very often. It makes you appear very friendly and welcoming, and it invites the reader in to read more. I guess it's inviting because the way you write is very jovial (not because you started off with "Welcome!" haha). I would gladly wait to read more.
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