My Opinion – while this poem isn't necessarily bad, it seems to contain little rhythm and smoothness within each stanza. I think if you were to look at it again and try tweaking some of the stanza's just slightly, it would improve greating. The imagery that's there in my opinion isn't bad, it just isn't supported well by the words you've chosen.
Example:
Your 1st stanza:
See, he's walking away from
nearly three years and
she just can't
figure out why.
If you were to rework this just slightly – the effect could be so much more powerful.
My version:
He's walking away from
Nearly three years,
And she just can't
Figure out why.
All I've done is try to clean it up and make the imagery stronger. Do we really need the word See? Does it do anything for it? IMO, no. You want each stanza to jump out at the reader and impress upon them. I think with just a little work, this could do just that.
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My Opinion: I really liked the sincerity and simplicity of this piece. It's short and sweet and yet it still leaves questions for the readers. I'm not sure if that's the total idea of it or not, or if perhaps it's just me who normally reads more complete and lengthy pieces. Below I've tried to make a few suggestions for things that I noticed. As always, do with them as you may…
Suggestions: There was no proper sandbank, but we did find a tall ledge*comma* which was really just a sewer entry hatch beside the walkway. The hatch was set in a small, square*comma* concrete slab - enough room for us both to sit and cast our lines into the river.
"Oh, forget it,*period*" I gave up, setting the pole down.[this isn't a dialogue tag that follows so the statement ends with a period.]
I sat down again to watch her. Right behind her.[this second underlined part is a fragment. I think the flow would work better if you fit it in with the small sentence before it.]
I could whisper into her ear, and she would receive my voice without duelling duelingmy eyes.
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My Opinion: This is another wonderful piece that you've written extremely well. As you say, if everyone were willing to do something no matter how small, great things could be accomplished and there would be much less of those without, but alas, I doubt it is something that would ever really come to pass.
As for this well written piece, I can find nothing wrong with it and I think you did a wonderful job of expressing the reality of the times.
My Opinion: As a secondary version of "Giving Thanks For What You Have - Not" , I'm not really sure which one I like better. It even took me awhile looking at them both to determine what was different, which is really only the placement of a paragraph or perhaps two. The original version tells the story and then in the end gives us what prompted it. This version splits it – telling the basis and the reasoning, and then explaining it with the facts that in the original are woven into part of the story. Personally it's all the same to me, but I can see how some might think that one way or the other is more proper.
My Opinion: While it looked like you had a nice idea, it looked like it didn't take off very well. It leaves me to wonder if it might have done better with a little more color as introduction. Maybe some balloons and steamers to help welcome in the New Year and make those that stopped by feel more festive and willing to share. But again, these are only thoughts on something that's old and out of place, so think on them if you ever try to revive this…
My Opinion: I really like this folder and how you've titled it, rather than just the normal 'poetry folder' types of titles that you find in most ports. I also think you did a nice job of adding a quote that seemed to fit well with the themes and ideas that you convey. And while I normally suggest adding an image or something to help color the folder and give it flavor, for this one I think you've done it just nicely the way you have it.
My Opinion: Again, a great idea and way to highlight some of your better pieces that others have recognized. I would suggest giving it some added color and perhaps an image of someone receiving an award or trophy. It doesn't have to be anything fancy and can even be comical, but I have noticed that when there's something to draw the eye of the casual surfer, they tend to stick around and look more – finding treasures that they never may have seen otherwise.
My Opinion: While I can see how this continues the first story "The Nanny Wanted Straight Hair - Part 1" the events in this piece kind of destroy the connection of the title to the story itself, especially since you have it broken apart like this in my opinion. But, like all your pieces its well written and I was hard pressed to find suggestions for improvement other than combining the two parts into one. Below are a few of the things I noticed…
Suggestions: **note: all of these relate to the same point made in the suggestions for part I. Numbers less than three digits should be written out. **
Anyway, I was standing at the edge of the deep end of the pool when some 6th sixth grade boy decided to push me into the water.
Suddenly I was in about 6 six feet of water.
A few years later, when I was 11 eleven, a black family moved in down the street from us.
My Opinion: While I liked this piece and I can see why you treat it as a follow-on to "A Warm Smile, a Mop and a Bucket" I'm not sure why you split it and seeing as how I haven't looked at part II, I'm not sure if it's really a continuation of this story, or another piece that's similar. But I will say that this feels incomplete. Like you start to tell us an idea and never complete it. I'm not sure what is needed to fill the circle of this piece though, because I'm not sure where you were trying to take us with this. All I can say is that as with any story, it should have a beginning, a middle, and an ending, and unfortunately to me, this piece seems to have no valid ending – even for something that is being split. It's not excessively long, so one of my secondary suggestions would be to make this piece complete by joining parts I & II together into one, assuming that's doable.
Suggestions: (Now I think what a feat that was, going to college as a man with 4 four kids!)
But, I was only 8 eight and bored to death. So*comma* I escaped to use the restroom. [numbers under three digits should be written out in words, there's a rule about it somewhere though darned if I know where…]
My Opinion: This is another wonderful piece that goes at trying to tell of discrimination and why there should be none. But one thing that I've noticed in all your writings, is your way of forming sentences and connecting ideas together. I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with it, but that people are always telling me to limit my use of 'but', and like you, I use it to start sentences, which in many cases are really just a continuation of a previous thought in a previous sentence. So – I leave you with this one suggestion, which would be, to look at each 'but' and how you've used it in your writings. See if there are times when you're really using it to continue an idea. If this is how you are using it, try joining the sentences together by use of either a comma or semicolon because while you can use 'but' to link your sentences together, it's not really something that's independent and therefore really shouldn't be separate.
My Opinion: I really like how you relate in this letter back to the past and how the same thoughts and ideas (ways of remembering) are used for both the WTC disaster and the death of J.F.K. While you do a good job with this, the feelings and emotions that I'm sure you were trying to give are not well portrayed in my opinion, but unfortunately I can't see any ways to suggest improvement.
My Opinion: Again another nice folder with lots of items that relate well to it. But, like many of the folders I've found in your port, I'd like to see it a little more colorful and decorative. Remember, a folder is really like a jacket cover to a book and you want it to be as appealing as possible to help attract readers and keep their attention while they par rouse your port. Adding a simple cartoon-ish image of children playing would be enough to help connect the reader with the fact that these are basically all based on childhood memories.
My Opinion: This is a nice poem that fluxs between the reality of tears and the spirituality of God's tears through rain, and the effect on people. While the imagery is nice, I think if you added some punctuation to this it could improve it. Just as normal prose use grammar to show us where things end, poetry does the same. Grammar can be used to so the end of a thought/idea before shifting to the next stanza.
suggestions here's a grammar suggestion just for the first stanza to give you an idea of what I'm talking about.
Rain clouds
Fill the sky*comma*
God’s tears
Strongly tumble*period*
My Opinion: I really like this poem and how you not only use the image at the top of it – but how you choose certain words and add color to them, highlighting specific thing. I like the repetition at the start of the stanzas, linking them all together. I can only think of one suggestion to give for this wonderful piece.
Suggestion:
You use grey for coloring in the last stanza, and while I realize you picked it to denote the 'death' or 'sleep mode' of winter, the words don't stand out very well because of it. I would suggestion looking into the color coding and seeing if perhaps there is either a dark grey that could be used instead, or something else that would carry the same connotation.
My Opinion: I thought you did a great job with this piece and the emotions and feelings come across wonderfully in it. There's not that much to pick apart in it and I wouldn't want to suggest changing that much as it would effect the wonderful mood that you create, but I will give one small thing that I noticed, in hopes of bettering it.
Suggestions:
Just a month or so after this exchange, *remove comma* Fritz was killed in a hunting accident on Thanksgiving weekend. [it's not really necessary IMO]
My Opinion: This was an interesting piece and you did a really good job of describing the two individuals and giving people a glimpse into their lives. It was a good use of color to break the piece up into it's different sections including your reflections at the end. There were a few areas that I thought could use with some improvement though. I've listed them below. Remember though that these are only my thoughts and ideas, so feel free to do with it as you feel fit…
Suggestions:
the sentences in the first paragraph are long and someone difficult to swallow at once. Try breaking these into smaller chunks without so much in each one.
My Opinion: Like so many pieces in your port, this piece has a wonderful feel to it. You're able to express the deepest emotions in the most simplest of words. You have a great knack for adding imagery that people can connect with without a lot of words. Inspiration does really come to us in the strangest of ways, and this happens to be one of them.
My Opinion – Like you said, I think this is a great recipe for someone who's alone and doesn't want a whole turkey. They can just put it on and go to work, and when they come home, it's done. Granted many people now work 9-hour shifts but that's still not a problem. Many crock-pot recipes can be adjusted, reducing the amount of time on high initially and increasing the low-cook time. Though I'm a stickler for pictures especially with recipes, easy would be a big pull for this one even without the image.
My Opinion – I liked this piece and the way you wove your way through smells . I especially liked the ending with the giving of the burnt rolls to the animals and what you would like to think they surmise.
Suggestions for improvement:(*remember these are only my suggestions – take them as you may…*)
That wonderful aroma invaded my dreams in the early morning hours, and I was usually awakened usually awoke me before my mother appeared at my bed each day. [The crossed out part is passive, I've tried to remove the passive voice with this suggested change.]
Inhaling that the sweet smell of peanut butter fudge reminded me of a winter visit to Michigan. [reads smoother in my opinion and doesn’t give the suggestion that you're still referring to the previous paragraph of chocolate fudge.]
My Opinion:I like this piece and how you put it together, grouping the differet 'ideas' and 'teachings' for the holiday season. Even the color-coding sets it apart nicely. Great Job.
My Opinion:Though I love potatoes (especially mashed potatoes) I doubt I'd be willing to try this recipe without having tasted it first or seeing it. I'm not trying to say that it might not be good – but, well, maybe it's just me, mashed potatoes are meant to be eaten with gravy.
But as a presentation and a suggestion for a way to get rid of those leftovers, I'm sure it goes over just swell.
My Opinion:This sounds really interesting and like a great way to use up those potato chip crumbs that are always in the bottom of the bag after you eat all those turkey sandwiches. Definitely something to be looking into and it looks simple enough to make as well.
My Opinion:I really liked this piece and the sincerity and honesty of it. Life is like a roller coaster ride (no matter how much I hate those things), and yes it's true, all things do pass. Great job with this piece and the way in which you put it together, tying it from the past to the (somewhat) present day, and even into the future.
My Opinion:Yeah – where does one put those oddities that aren't their norm? You seem to have such a diverse port that it seems odd to see this folder sitting here – and yet here it is! I'm not sure though if your folder blurb fits with it or whether the mini description that you have in the heading is actually better. Either way, it could always be improved with some color. Add an image, it doesn't even have to be anything fancy – to give this folder some life of it's own.
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Lon 
Below I've tried to make a few suggestions for things that I noticed. As always, do with them as you may…
There was no proper sandbank, but we did find a tall ledge
As you say, if everyone were willing to do something no matter how small, great things could be accomplished and there would be much less of those without, but alas, I doubt it is something that would ever really come to pass.
It leaves me to wonder if it might have done better with a little more color as introduction. Maybe some balloons and steamers to help welcome in the New Year and make those that stopped by feel more festive and willing to share. But again, these are only thoughts on something that's old and out of place, so think on them if you ever try to revive this…
mashed potatoes are meant to be eaten with gravy.
Definitely something to be looking into and it looks simple enough to make as well.