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Review of The Last Stand  Open in new Window.
Review by Mike H Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)

Good story. One woman’s heroic last stand
Good opening line, captures the reader’s attention right away.
Great descriptions, though I would tone down some of it, example after describing her ebony hair, delete everything after the comma, it is not needed. The blush on her cheeks, is that makeup or what?
Too many “un’s” when describing her countenance. Just keep the line following. Was there anyone special she is leaving behind, if so reflect on (who will feed the cat, griffin, bumbling knight, etc.)
First she is laying on the ground exhausted and without mana, then she struggles to her feet and casts a spell. I think you need to explain, she has one last spell, one last opportunity but it will cost her, her final sacrifice.
She dodged – the tail striking the tips of her hair.
The ground shook as enraged, hmm, how mad does dirt get? ;) Could go with the cliché, tossed like a rowboat in a storm, or something similar.
Good ending. Did the story win the contest?
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