i must say this is one of the best poems i have read in a very long time and i am impressed. your tone is clear and your vocabulary adds a great spice. continue writing because it is clear you have a talent. your descriptions and imagery flow so well as i read.
you managed to make this short story very detailed and not confusing like some short stories end up being. your imagery and descriptions are very vivid, so kudos on that. you created a very complex plot, but you went at it the right way and in the end i was very impressed.
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