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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/mellowasyellow
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Your message really speaks to me. I've gotten to the point where I rarely watch TV anymore -- and if I do, its definitely not the news. As you said, "There is no rhyme nor reason, just more tears for senseless loss." I couldn't have phrased it better if I had tried. Bravo.
The fact that you brought religion into the mix was bold -- and I throughly enjoyed the effect it had on the poetry. Not many dare to bring up God anymore, not in today's society. If they do, it tends to sound preachy. In this poem, however, it did not push readers into the faith, which is always a plus. You seem to have used the God as more of a reference then a topic, I note. Thats the key to mixing religion into present day, and I'm going to try my best to remember that.
Thank you. Through this poem, you have taught me something.

There is one issue I would like to point out, though. Your rhyme scheme -- ABCB -- stays true until the very last stanza. Then it turns into ABCD. Maybe you could revise that? Other than that, I see this work as nothing short of brilliant. Look into getting published, perhaps?

Ink inspires -- keep writing!
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